Use Somebody
by Commonfangirl
Summary: Rory's life had turned into a train wreck. A new feeling was beginning to conflict her. She liked it. So she sorted out the help of the only other train wreck she knew.
1. Chapter 1

**Inspired by the song: Love is colder than death by The Virgins. That is the lyrics of this song in the summary.**

* * *

Standing there, still as a stick and positively more lifeless than one, was making Rory Gilmore sick; more than she already felt at that. People passed by, all giving her an apologetic look as if every single person in the room had a saying in what had happened, but none of them tried to even speak to her, they didn't even dared to look at her in the eye and confront months and months of pain and inconsiderate desolation that Rory kept in those blue pools of hers.

But, truly, what would people even tell her? What would they ask? They didn't know her, nor they had known Lorelai; and for that the people inside the room were clueless as to what to offer to the poor, lonely girl. Rory tried to make her mind around at the why not one person from Stars Hollow had showed up. They were supposed to be her friends. No, her family and support in hard times like these, and yet they weren't there.

The urge to throw up that had been accumulating since she had gotten the call, finally kicked in; and Rory was glad, and that for only a slight second, that she had a believable excuse to leave her spot in the foyer and leave the duties in greeting people she hadn't met in her entire life.

Once in the upstairs bathroom, and tucked down on the cold marble, she realized there was no one there to hold her hair or to sooth her back tenderly; there was no one there anymore; she was all alone now. Her mom wasn't there, she had lost her best friend in a matter of minutes. All too unfair, all too justified.

But, even when she got thinking about that, Rory couldn't cry; she would feel the unbearable feeling all over her body; she felt raw and everything went through pain and then stayed sore for a little while until it was time to repeat when memory kicked in. She would look at herself in the mirror once the nausea died down, expecting to find red, puffy eyes or anything that indicated that she had started crying, anything that resembled hurting on the outside, but there wasn't.

"What is wrong with you?" She asked herself. "Why can't you cry?" Rory began to do the self-loathing then, because she was somehow scared that one day she would find a hole in her chest and no heart in there; no emotions. Scared of becoming a heartless person that didn't even cry at her mother's funeral.

That was a scary thought.

She looked at herself in the mirror for what would seem ages and her eyes went somewhere else in her reflection; she looked so pure, so small and innocent, gullible she dared to say. She looked like everything her mom had been proud of. And she couldn't handle that. Her reflection became too much to handle.

On her way downstairs she saw her grandmother walking to the door and open it gracefully with a convincing smile, fake though still convincing; Rory could see how much Emily was hurting too, but she was stronger, even when she didn't want to be. While Rory saw her grandmother greet yet again another pair of strangers in the foyer, she glanced further to the door to Richard's study, closed permanently since this morning, it somehow looked immensely impotent, and even looking at it made Rory cringe; her grandfather hadn't been as strong as her grandmother; he had drowned himself in whiskey and resentment towards himself.

Walking all the way down the stairs this time, she turned to the living room avoiding the door and the greeting, and gulped when she saw the room packed up with more people than she had left it with. In front of the fireplace there was a photo of Lorelai placed in the very middle. She looked way younger, maybe in her early twenties, but still so beautiful and full of life. Rory wanted to smile so badly at her mother's beautiful portrait, but all she could do was wince her face into a twitch that just as easily faded for the absent face she had been sporting since months ago.

Finally, the main door was opened again and Emily greeted two gentlemen in jacket suits and Rory believed she recognized both, more than that; her real family had arrived. And it became clear to Rory that she couldn't be in that room anymore. Not when all the town of Stars Hollow was arriving to her mom's funeral; she was afraid she would fall apart in front of all these people.

She needed to bail.

Her first thought was going out and into the pool house, where certainly nobody would be in and she could be alone with the silence and the knowledge of what she had been considering. Rory walked quickly, avoiding as much as she could running into somebody who would hold her in condolences for at least fifteen minutes; the back door was in perfect reach, but some voice stopped her.

"Rory." She stopped her actions abruptly at the hearing of her name, she held her breath in for thirty second; she counted them. "How are you, sweetie?" She flinched inwardly.

"Miserable." She answered and then turned around to face her dad; he was trying to smile at her, but his eyes were giving away how he truly felt.

"Come here." Said Christopher and walked the small distance between himself and his daughter, pulling Rory into a hug that seemed more to coax her than to comfort her. In any way, she felt protected somehow and let out a long sigh.

"I don't think I can live without her, dad." She whispered shakily; it was true; everything she was and everything she had done in the past was because of Lorelai and now, well, now Rory wasn't sure if she could manage being all of those things. "She left me, and I can't be without her. It's not fair."

"Hey, hey. We'll be alright, Ror, we're gonna get past this." He promised and held her tighter into his embrace, not wanting to let go. "Together." Rory nodded onto his shoulder and sniffed; tears? She thought, but it was just a reflex she found out as she passed a hand through her face.

"Yes, together, we...need to stay together." She repeated, convincing herself that this was, indeed, happening to her; that the reason her dad was saying these things wasn't because he had no other choice now that her mother was gone.

Half an hour later, and many small talks and stories of Lorelai that weren't at all true, Rory saw one of the two men who had arrived a little earlier in the evening and she had wanted to avoid. The tall framed guy was walking towards her, his face was steadily facing the floor and once in a while he would look up to see her; he was pursing his lips and his brows were furrowed, hands in pockets and shoulders down. And he came standing in front of her.

"How are you holding up?" He asked, reaching out for her hand and clasping it between the two of his.

"Just fine." She lied. "Dean, what are you doing here, with Luke?" He seemed to be confused and then his face came back to pitying her.

"Well, we came to pay our respects to Lorelai and to see you." He stated. "I've been worried."

"I'm fine, Dean, really. This is just...tough, but I'm a big girl." His frown deepened, but then, after considering her face for a while his face softened completely.

"This is more than just tough, Rory, and that's why I'm here also, I want to be your rock. Whatever the matter, I'll be there for you." Rory sighed deeply and shook her head absently.

"Dean, I'm not going back to Stars Hollow." She announced. "Not now or any time soon" he was silenced but a few seconds later he nodded.

"I thought that would be a possibility, but I'm here for you no matter what." He repeated his intentions again and squeezed her hand tighter. "And I will not go away." Rory gulped and stepped closer to hold him, he returned the embrace easily and happily, he liked to feel needed and in situations like this Rory needed him. He kissed the top of her head sweetly.

"Where's Luke?" She asked suddenly and stepping back a little.

"He, uh, I think he's talking to your grandmother." Rory tensed but made no sign to move. "And he's okay." Finished Dean.

"I think I need to be in some place quiet," Rory said. "Come with me?" She offered her hand to Dean and he took it in a heartbeat, letting himself be guided through the chatting people. They went through the back door and then the wood gate, entering the pool house seconds later.

"My mom's gone, Dean." Rory said, frowning to the sun outside; it was the beginning of the summer and the sun was shining every day. "I'm alone now."

"No, you're not." He answered quickly as he stepped closer to her; Rory however walked away from him to the drink cart, she was thirsty. "What are you doing?" Dean asked in puzzlement when he saw her lift the bourbon bottle up and then walking around to sit on the couch.

"I don't want to feel this way anymore." She reasoned, taking a big gulp out of the bottle and grimacing at the harsh taste that burnt down in her throat. "I can't live with my heart feeling like this anymore. Like life is not worth living. All I want to do is stop hurting."

Dean felt his feet glued to the floor, he couldn't move though he knew what he had to do: take the alcohol bottle away from Rory and hold her until she fell asleep or encourage her to...live. But he could do nothing, because he could see the pain in Rory all inside her and all around her. He sighed and walked to sit down next to her, watching her with pity and hoping that she was right, that this was the way to take the pain away, even if just for a minute.

"You know we're all here for you Rory, right? All the town."

"Funny you should say that." She laughed bitterly. "You and Luke are the only ones from Stars Hollow here; that does not show very much support, does it?" Dean sighed.

"Rory-" he began, but she cut him off abruptly.

"I'm going to live here." She gestured around the house. "Welcome to my place." She teased. Dean could tell she had already drunk a big deal out of the bottle.

"I thought you were going with your dad." He said, apparently confused.

"To Boston? Dear god no! He thinks I will, but it's not going to work; I'll live with my grandparents until I go away to college." She stated and then frowned. "Did you know my mom never went to college? I mean, she was taking night classes and everything now, but Yale, Harvard, Princeton...she never went there." She smiled. "And yet she was so smart; that's a real example there Dean-y, you don't need to go to college to be smart. That's just bullshit."

"It is." He agreed, eyeing the bottle that now was at the half. "Hey, I think you've had enough of that." He tried to take the glass bottle off her hands but she denied him any access.

"No, no, no, you can't never have enough of this." She smirked at him. "Here, have some." Rory almost threw the bourbon to Dean and then stepped up the couch walking away towards a door. "Oh, cool bed! Hey, uh, Dean, come see." He groaned silently and followed his girlfriend. She was sitting down on the king sized bed and she patted the space beside her for him to sit down, he obliged quickly.

"It's nice in here." He said. "Very quiet."

"Which is just what I want." Rory whispered and closed the small distance between them, first giving their usual chaste kiss, then, looking into his eyes and his hair, his whole face, she was reminded of conversations with her mother about Dean; she had to shut her eyes tightly and her lips began to move fiercely against his, deepening it when Dean gasped out in surprise. Her hands rounded his neck and her body moved in desperation to his lap. But he pushed her away.

"Rory, no, don't, not now." He said.

"Please," Rory said, her heart trumping inside of her, she always felt about to cry, but she never could. "Help me forget, even if is just for a little while."

"This is not how it goes; this will not help you; you'll only regret it later."

"No, I won't. I want this, Dean, I-I need this now." She made a move to be closer to him again, only catching his lips in one short kiss, her mouth moving lower down his neck. "Please." He sighed pleasurably and finally his hands came around her waist, tentatively going down her hips. Her hands moved to his thighs, rubbing them slowly and strongly, then the clicking of his belt being unbuckled brought Dean back to this world again.

"No." He stated sharply and pushing Rory off of him, then placing his hands on his temples and rubbing them in an attempt to regain his composure. "This is not okay, Rory."

"You are possibly the only guy who'd say no to sex, and you're my boyfriend." He looked up to watch her; she looked hurt, she looked ashamed, she looked angry.

"This is not about the sex; is where we are and when."

"Right." She moved and stood up, placing her clothes and all of herself right back into place, walking away and through the open door. "My mom's funeral." She muttered to herself.

* * *

She was sitting down at the dinner table in her grandparents' house- no, correction; her house - facing the empty chair that Lorelai would usually occupy; Rory was alone in the dining room, waiting for her dad and her grandparents to come out of Richard's studio, they were arguing about something, business they said, but Rory knew it was about her. Where is she going to stay? Who is going to have a say in her life?

But what Rory knew for sure was that there wasn't much arguing coming from her dad. Or at all.

She had wanted to go back to Stars Hollow, to go back home; and she knew that if she wanted to go visit once in a while that would be fine. But then, when she thought back about her small town, the thought of her mom came with it, came with everything really and she would flinch every time. Now, she wasn't certain if going back would be something she could bare.

The door of the office finally opened and the dining room was suddenly filled with her family.

"Hi, Ror." Said Christopher with a vague attempt of a smile. "We have to discuss something, you and me." He looked pointedly at Emily and Richard and the elder Gilmores walked back to the office with killing glares. Rory did not see this, though she could say she could've cut the tension in the room with a knife.

"What is it?" She asked, as innocently as she could. Chris took a chair from the head of the table and moved it nearer to Rory.

"Thing is, kid, that your mother did have a will and, um, I am not your legal guardian, crazy because I'm your father." He sighed. "Emily and Richard are your legal tutors, that's the way Lorelai wanted it and we're going to respect that." Rory remained silent and looked at her dad's face, very expressionless even when it didn't have to be. "It's better this way if you think about it; you have school here, your friends and-and Dean, right? I think you really need them now." Chris looked at Rory's eyes for any kind of reaction, he could tell her thoughts were far off. A strong silence came in and Chris took it to analyze his daughter, up until now he hadn't really seen her; she had bags under her eyes, her skin looked to be turning greenish and he couldn't help but notice how thin she had become. Guilt came to smash into his face, he was punishing himself for the way her daughter looked; she had been there all through Lorelai's disease without an extra support; hadn't been there for her enough when she needed him, and that stung him to no end.

"Okay." That was the only thing she could say after a while of quietness. Chris wasn't quite sure if she had heard him or if she was just saying that absentmindedly because she'd realized that it was her turn to speak in the conversation.

"I'm going to come here and visit you a lot when I can, I promise." Rory half smiled at him and nodded. "I told you we'd be together through this, and I intent on keeping my word." He reached out for her hand and squeezed it reassuringly. Rory couldn't help but wonder on when he had ever kept his word.

Emily and Richard came in the room, smiling at her and Rory gulped, because she had never felt so lonely in all of her damned life.

* * *

She couldn't go back to her house, Rory found out. She had tried to, but it seemed as if the more effort she put on it, the harder it was. Lorelai's papers and things needed to be looked over and she wanted to do it herself, she just needed a little more time. Her grandparents told Rory they could keep the house if she wanted to, that there was no need to sell it, that she could go back anytime she wanted; but she was still thinking it over. Because, why would she want a house where she couldn't set foot into without cringing?

Her mother loved that house; they both had grown up in that house; Rory knew she would never give it up, but, nevertheless, her mind wasn't set on a decision according to that one issue.

Rory told her grandparents that she couldn't live in the bedroom that had once been Lorelai's, and the feeling of the house, so cold and foreign, still had memories of her mother. It was hard to push those away, even harder to deal with them, so she didn't. And after a long talk with Richard, they settled on letting Rory live in the pool house as she had wanted.

Emily spent the entire summer redecorating the inhabited house, Rory saw it as some kind of distraction from life, keeping busy always did work for the Gilmores when trying to push aside whatever thing was keeping them off tracks. Emily with her decorations and DAR gatherings, Richard with his job and Rory with school, which was why she couldn't wait for summer to be over; in the mid-time she had read the better part of her grandfather's library; escaping to other fantastic worlds was, in some way, soothing.

The pool house was strange to her, which was a good thing because Rory didn't have any memories in it, at all actually. Except for Dean and his rejection.

She hadn't talked to him since the funeral, and it somehow gave her calmness. She had needed comfort and love and he hadn't given it to her, had denied it to her. Now she had one less reason to go back to Stars Hollow, one of the only ones remaining was Lane, her best friend.

"How are you holding up, Ror?" Lane asked, sitting beside Rory on a bench in the town's square. Rory clenched her jaw at the question, having been asked that so many times now, she felt partially like it was all on some kind of script she hadn't been handed.

"I've been better." She said. Lane nodded and placed a hand on her shoulder reassuringly.

"I'm here for you. We're all here for you."

"Yeah, I know, thank you." They fell into silence, watching people pass by going on with their regular lives. "I don't know if I will be able to come back."

"To Stars Hollow?"

"Everywhere I look I'm reminded of my mom, and I can't handle that, Lane." Rory said, looking down to the floor and then all around her, making her point more valid to herself.

"Rory, everything you do will remind you of her right now, it's too recent. But Stars Hollow is your home. Everyone who loves you is right here." Rory looked away.

"Yeah, well, I'm not sure about that."

"What do you mean?" Rory cleared her throat and decided to tell her best friend what had happened.

"I needed Dean and he just wasn't there, he treated me as if I was throwing myself at him." She grimaced. "Maybe I was, who knows?"

"Throwing yourself at him, like, in..." Lane flushed and seemed flustered; Rory rolled her eyes and she was surprised herself by her reaction. What was going on?

"Sex." Stated Rory clearly. "I wanted to have sex and he just shrugged me off." Bitterness in her tone. "He is my boyfriend, it wasn't as if we had never met."

"When was this?" Rory cleared her throat again absently.

"That is not important." Her face hardened. "The fact was that I was ready and he ended up being the ridiculously sensitive one in the relationship." Lane frowned at his best friend, but couldn't react to Rory's abruptness because she knew where it was coming from, though she did flinch a little.

"Maybe he just wanted for it to be special." She paused. "He was being considered with how you felt."

"Well, I'm tired of everyone treating me like I will break, I'm tired of everyone assuming things about me and how I am. I don't want to be like that anymore." Lane scowled.

"Rory, no one's treating you like that." Her friend tried.

"No, everyone is, starting with you and Dean and all of this quirky town." Rory gestured all around her to people looking at her sympathetically, just to make her point look brighter.

"Well, maybe we're just trying to be emphatic about how you may be feeling." Lane began to raise her voice.

"Well, don't be." Rory snapped, then when Lane face had flushed more, now out of anger, Rory sighed. "I-I'm sorry, Lane. I'm not feeling very well. And I know you're just trying to help but, I really don't need it." She finished off coolly, to her own surprise.

"Well, then, call me when you do because I'm not going to stand here and watch you turn your back on people who obviously love you very much." Lane said, and then walked away from the town square to her house.

Rory rested her elbows on her knees and buried her face deep into her palms, she couldn't do this anymore. She rubbed her temples to drive some of her constant headache away. She had needed help from her friends before and probably needed it very much right now, but she wasn't very sure on whether they'd still like to be her friends after her new temper cooled down.

Now, she had no time to realize that pretty much one of her only reasons to come back to Stars Hollow had gone back to the house with a 'Kim's antiques' sing on the lawn, and closed the door with more than one grudge held against Rory.

* * *

Summer passed and ended pretty quickly after that conversation. Suddenly the time to go back to Chilton had come. Rory could say she was happy to go back to school, but she wouldn't, because happiness was something that she hadn't showed off yet; she felt wrong when she smiled or snorted at something, so she reprimanded everything that made her want to feel glad, it was unconscious and wrong, but she couldn't help it. She was not ready to smile yet.

She was having breakfast alone in the pool house three days before going back to school, she was drinking tea, not quite ready to bring coffee to her system yet, and a plate of fruit, odd enough as it was, none of this food made her wince with memories, so she took a pleasure in it. She looked up when she heard a noise outside; Emily was walking over with that graceful style of hers and a terrified expression.

"Rory, you must come to main door right now. There's this boy that has been knocking nonstop, first I thought he was here to deliver the errands from the market but, he says he's here for you." Her grandmother said quickly and only taking a small break to catch her breath. "I just didn't know if I should let him in, he says his name is Dan."

"Dean?" Rory frowned, though still surprised by what her grandma was telling her.

"Oh, yes, that's it, I think." Emily paused in deep thought. "Should I let him in?"

"No, grandma, I'll deal with him outside." Rory ran a hand through her forehead, suddenly a feeling of exhaustion overcoming her, but she had to get this out of the way.

She walked out of the pool house and went down the back lane that led to the front of the Gilmore estate; Dean was waiting by his piece of junk truck, nervously shifting his weight from one foot to another. Rory didn't want to see him there, it was too painful and too embarrassing to see her two worlds collide so openly; he didn't belong here, he didn't want to belong here; but Rory had no other choice but to.

"Hi." She said cautiously as she approached him by the side of the house. Rory had tried to overcome all of her emotions, in order to be in some kind of control, but she hadn't had much practice at that yet. Only time, she said to herself. "I didn't expect you to come."

"Yeah, sorry." He scratched the back of his neck and walked to meet Rory halfway from where she was standing. He scrunched a little, seeming to want to look smaller, or just big enough for her. "I should've called."

"No, that's okay." Rory shrugged it off. Dean tried to smile, but the smile did not reach his eyes. An awkward silence crept up between them; Rory had been drunk and depressed asking for something she knew she wanted and Dean had been the perfect boyfriend, knowing exactly that she'd regret something like that and also having associated her first time with her mother's funeral; they both knew that, but they weren't both able to admit it.

"So, I came here with this whole speech planed out, but my mind's drawing a blank completely." He said, trying to ease the silence with some useless explanation.

"Dean-"

"I don't want you to dump me, Rory." She frowned. "This new life is going to make you change, and by lord, if I'm not good enough for you now, then...you'll just realize you can do so much better."

"Hey, why would you say that? That's not true, Dean, you know I love you." Even then, when she said those words to ease his panic, all of that felt so shallow; it felt like she had said that a lifetime ago and she knew nothing would come out of that.

"I'm not good for you, Rory. I told you I'd be your rock, but it's just now that I know I can't be that." Rory stepped closer and raised her hands to cup his cheeks in an intimate act that felt so much like a charade.

"I don't need you to be my rock, I'm strong, and I just really need my boyfriend right now." Dean pursed his lips together and leaned into Rory's touch, closing his eyes momentarily.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure." She said, for a moment there enjoying how she had such control on whether her boyfriend smiled or cried; she was scared then, letting her face only show a half of it.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"I-uh, nothing, my mind's just going around how are we going to work out our busy schedules so we can see each other more often." She offered. What was that feeling she just had earlier? She almost felt frivolous. Couldn't believe how good it felt, like a sudden rollercoaster, at other's expenses, but a rollercoaster nonetheless.

"Don't worry about that now, we'll make it work." He assured, moving his body to embrace her; Rory felt how he sighed and could picture him smiling sweetly out of comfort and relieve. Only was then that her mind started to swirl about what could make that turn all around.

* * *

She was lying in her bed later that day; everything silent, the pool house being so apart from the usual crazy yelling in the main house and all, giving her that extra pro. The bedroom walls had been changed from a bright orange to subtle shade of red, all her furniture was new, all of her clothes were new, everywhere she turned in the pool house, she couldn't recognize a thing; she thanked her grandmother silently for making it possible in such a short amount of time since Rory had shared her troubles with Emily.

Since Dean drove off to Stars Hollow, Rory had been thinking about that feeling she had; frivolous, cruel, cold and exciting. It had made her stomach flutter somehow, almost as some sort of adrenaline rush to have such control over somebody's actions, somebody's words, somebody's feelings. She scowled. There was it again; the cruel thinking, but she couldn't help it.

There was nothing in this house that Rory Gilmore had owned, at least not the old Rory Gilmore. All of this was new, all of this stuff could be owned by anybody else. So, for a moment or two, she thought she could make herself up to be somebody else. Whoever she would want to be; the credit cards were there to make so possible, everything was at her disposal if she desired it to, she just needed a little more practice at that too.

The main door in her living room was knocked; it was the maid saying that dinner was ready if she wanted to join, and for one; Rory was happy to.

She walked over to her grandparents' house, yes, because that's what it always would be, and stepped in the living room that was deserted; she heard a vague sound of music and followed it to the dining room; they were already sitting down and when Richard spotted her, he looked startled.

"Rory, you're here." He raised from his sit and quickly walked over to Rory pulling her into a quick hug, then, urging her to her sit, there was no chair placed opposite her this time, but she tried to ignore that as much as she could. "We're so happy you could join us." He said, as he went back to his seat.

"Ah, Rory, you look so thin, haven't you been eating at all? You have food in that house, don't you?" Rory smiled weakly at her grandmother; the three of them did see much of the others a lot, but it was because of the inevitable run-ins of living in the same quarters. Rory talked to her grandmother sometimes, not enough, but acceptable amount of times in which they had only discussed whether the new color for her walls was acceptable or had reached the fair level of perfection Emily wanted it to. With Richard, however, it was another story; he had drowned himself in work, trying to stay as busy as possible, so Rory didn't see him much.

Rory hadn't come to dinner with her grandparents since long ago, one thing everyone understood, but as part of the elder Gilmore's routines they couldn't push dinners away, that was why Rory didn't feel very impressed at both her grandparents' astonishment to see her standing right at the main hall.

"Yes, grandma, I just haven't been really hungry." She had been eating healthy, she meant. "And I really wanted to see you both tonight." Her grandparents exchanged glances and smiled at the blue eyed teen sitting next to them, thanking the maid for bringing her the soup.

"Well, that's good, because we're really happy to see you tonight too." The three smiled halfheartedly and ate in perfect silence for a moment, only listening to the music as some kind of timed background bound to disappear in any second.

"So, Rory, are you excited for your new school year at Chilton?" Richard asked and Rory nodded. School, good, safe subject.

"Very much, I've been craving for something to keep me busy." She paused. "Besides, I miss the whole grading me on reading." Richard chuckled.

"How's been work, grandpa?"

"Oh, you know, same old boring and business, nothing a girl of your age would find interesting."

"Really? I think you're underestimating me." Emily laughed them off.

"Oh, come on, Rory, you can't be really eager to listen to stories of work, and insurance work at that."

"Emily, I say you let the girl decide on that." Intervened Richard. "And what do you mean by insurance work at that? What is so boring about insurance?"

Rory sighed. She couldn't let her grandparents down of all people; she knew she wasn't going to be able to change for them. She knew that even if she spat at their faces they would still don't see it; so, why bother with them anyway? She wasn't going to let them know about this feeling she was having, or about the control issue; she couldn't change with Emily and Richard; she would have to hide it from Emily and Richard, but nothing indicated it would be hard.

* * *

 **Review :) tell me what you think. I started this one a long time ago and it was only until now that I decided to publish it. So, any thoughts you have on this will be truly appreciated.**

 **Thanks for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

Her Chilton uniform didn't fit her quite right, she noticed this once she stepped in front of her full-length mirror Monday morning. The day back to school, first time in her mind she didn't referred to it as 'hellhole'. The uniform, though looked the same, was feeling a little bit too stiff for her, obviously she had to go to a private school, making all of this very normal, but she had never had those opinions about her appearance on her uniform before. She noticed she had lost a lot of weigh, indeed, as her grandmother had said, because she felt the clothes unexplainably baggy on her silhouette.

Maybe Emily would help her fix it, maybe Rory, herself, could even fix it.

She bent the waist line of her skirt at the pair with her ribcage, making her hem line go a little above the knee, she decided on wearing black stocking, and the school black sweater. She let her hair loose in soft, remarked curls: she put mascara on and a soft lipstick. She looked at herself in the mirror once more, just shrugging off the idea of looking more alike to her mother and ignoring it quickly. Her head started hurting right after.

Her yellow backpack had been left behind at her house in Stars Hollow as well as all her notes and books from last year, she didn't miss those at all. She had a new denim shoulder bag, which, if she was being honest, really liked, despite appearing indifferent to it all along since she bought it.

In truth, she didn't know what she was planning on doing, she also didn't know why she was feeling that fluttering in her stomach again without any apparent reason, but she was eager to find out.

The Gilmore chaffier drove her around Hartford for a little less than ten minutes before he left her off at Chilton. Rory was a little taken aback, she had gotten used to having a good forty five minutes to spare in the bus. She had gotten up too early because of that too, which only left her with the terrible headache again, trying to remind herself this was what it was going to take to get to Chilton from now on, only ten to fifteen minutes.

She was horrifyingly early to school because of that too, but the gates were already open and only those who seek refuge out of their houses were there and some particularly driven others, like Paris Gellar.

Rory watched the blonde girl tap her foot impatiently in front of the main front door of the school, still closed for the ungodly hour. Rory wasn't considering on approaching Paris at all, she wasn't planning on talking to her either if on her depended, so she just walked away to sit on the stony edge of the main fountain, the water wasn't running yet. She had brought a book with her, as always, but she did not feel like reading, especially with the lack of light they were all suffering from. She noticed a couple of other kids arrive, they looked somewhat younger, very much younger than herself; freshmen. Rory began thinking when did she start to think of herself as someone older than kids. Lorelai would've laughed. The headache again. She winced at the pain and her earlier thoughts were banished, this was usual to her by now.

The display of people all around her was fascinating; Rory had prided herself with Chilton because it did not separated you on little reclined groups, but rather into two very big ones. Popular and not. And even with that, it barely even showed who was in which group because they all got into their business. But once she saw how people began to arrive and greet their close-knit group, the separations were more and more obvious; and for once in over a year she realized; she belonged to none. She sighed, she knew she would make sure that was going to change.

Rory turned her head into the direction she was certain Paris was still standing in. Poor Paris, she thought, she really has no friends either, but even if she tried, that would make no good. Rory was startled again; that thought had been mean; the flutter in the stomach again. She had power over this too. Rory smiled. She could make a rollercoaster out of Paris too.

Rory stood up from her place at the fountain, instantly two girls took it and Rory only eyed them curiously after taking her bag, she walked up to Paris and stood by her side for a moment.

"Hi, Rory." The blue eyed girl wasn't surprised at all at Paris being the first one to talk. Everyone in Stars Hollow and Hartford knew what had happened in her family; maybe Paris had even been at the funeral, but Rory couldn't recall. Things had ended badly last year with her over some stupid reason, but still, the news were something you had to be sensitive about; and Rory was about to make all the pitiful glances worth it. "I heard about what happened, I'm really sorry." Rory looked at Paris now, her face looked genuinely concerned.

"Hi." She paused. "Thank you, means a lot that you say so." Paris nodded and offered a smile. "I didn't know how to talk to you after what happened last year." Rory said slowly.

"Ah, well, it doesn't matter now, does it? I say we leave that off in the past." Rory smiled back. This worked after all.

"I agree." She clasped her hands together. "I mean, we were really getting along last year until the end."

"We really were." Said Paris, her smile wider.

Paris was such a strong girl, Rory thought, she was so tough and smart, a hard worker, and a great heart under all of that. But what Rory could see now, and hadn't been able to see before was the insecurities that surrounded Paris all the time. She always tried to stand out in intelligence and eloquence, not looks, not beauty. That made her an easy target in high school. And that was what Rory was focusing on.

"We're friends then, right?" Rory asked, chuckling.

"Yeah, absolutely." So eager to have friends too.

* * *

She had a new locker, very far away from Paris' and all of that fuzz. Rory was grateful because her headaches had been giving her no rest; rubbing her temples wasn't working anymore and the thought of becoming dependent on some kind of medication wasn't a viable option. Though, with the quietness of the classrooms they tended to ease on her a little, she could concentrate more in the task at hand, at taking notes and reading the lectures. Only one less problem to deal with: she didn't want to do that.

What was happening to her? She didn't know. Her summer had been filled with reading, but that had been out of pleasure which was completely different, still, she wouldn't remember when that had bothered her before.

Walking on the hallways made her wince and made her feel like she was going to lose her balance all of a sudden, but she still had that excitement running through her veins when she thought of the plans she was bound to execute with Paris and Dean; her rollercoasters. She smirked and looked up to see where she was going finally, when she saw what left her in utter awe and a little more than nervous.

Why hadn't she thought of him before? She stopped walking completely and abruptly causing some people to run into her and then say something rude before going along with their ways. There he was, in his usual spot, with his not so usual friends, the two guys were new to her, and Rory couldn't quite place them so she let that go.

Blonde, tousled hair, blue, piercing eyes, that smirk and that smile and that mouth. He was laughing at something his friends had said, he looked like, god help her, a dream. Rory still made no move to walk until one guy pushed her away with his backpack. So much for private school being better, she thought.

Rory considered walking away, seeing as her hands were sweaty and her walking abilities weren't trustworthy, and she felt that if she spoke, her voice would come out shaking, not at all ready to be witty with him. She hadn't felt this way around him, let alone at only seeing him from afar but she couldn't help the familiar flutter of her stomach. She frowned, him too? But, why?

She let out a deep breath and walked towards the end of the hall, getting nearer and nearer, hoping he would somehow get rid of his friends and begin with his usual lewd comments, but once she turned the corner around and caught his eyes, she felt as if he wasn't seeing her, just past her at more important things. She gritted her teeth in a sullen feeling of disappointment and something more she couldn't quite put a word to.

Rory began to walk faster to get away from there with a strange feeling of embarrassment when she heard a whistle; a catcall more like it. She clenched the stripe of her bag tighter to her and out of impulse turned around and saw Tristan Dugrey smirking with two boys at both sides of him in what seemed to be admiring something, no, no, more like her skirt or how not long her skirt seemed. Only when they noticed she was looking at them in return, the two other boys turned completely around and clapped each other on the back, laughing. Tristan stood still watching her and without any intent on hiding it. She should be mad he was such an ass, but what she did, she couldn't explain.

She smirked back at him and turned around, making her hips swing her skirt higher and walked away.

* * *

Rory was walking into the pool house later that day, she was completely exhausted with the classes and her new schedule, but something in her mind kept making her feel in an unexplainable rush. And she needed more of it.

"Hey, Dean?" She called into the phone.

"Rory?"

"Yeah, it's me." She walked into her room and laid herself on top of her bed, resting her head on the pillows. "Can I come to Stars Hollow? I want to tell you all about my day." She heard him chuckle.

"Wow, yeah, sounds like you had a good day."

"I think I did, I mean, considering it being the first day and all." Rory said, enthusiastically.

"Great, I can come over there too, if you want." He offered gently.

"No, I really want to go around the town." Dean smiled widely at his girlfriend's admission. It took a long while but there he had it.

"Okay, I'll wait for you in my house." She clipped her phone shut, and sighed deeply. He had sounded happy at what she said; she had made it sound convincing, she thought.

This feeling she felt in her stomach of excitement and quickly rush to make her feel alive, was the only think that had made her feel like that, in her whole life so she wasn't going to let it go to waste so easily. Even if it meant playing with people.

* * *

She arrived to Stars Hollow an hour after she called Dean, she kept her Chilton uniform on because she wanted to see Dean react to it.

The car dropped her off just a block away from Dean's house and she walked slowly, looking around the town for something more; she felt like there should be some tacky celebration going on, but the town seemed rather empty, she frowned and shrugged it off.

When she got to Dean's house, Rory stood still in front of his porch, thinking on what she might say, on what he might want to hear come out of her lips. She bit her lip. And then smirked, having made her mind up.

"Hey, Rory." Greeted Barbara Forester. "Dean told me you were coming, how are you?" Rory smiled sweetly at the blonde haired woman.

"I'm really well actually, and you?"

"Oh, you know me, always the optimistic." Rory nodded politely. "Dean will be down here in a minute."

"How's Claire?"

"Very excited, she starts middle school tomorrow." Barbara said, walking Rory into the living room. "Here, Rory, sit down, would you like something to drink?"

"Oh, no thank you, I'm fine." Rory said.

"Well," Barbara started as she sat down next to Rory. "Dear, I've been meaning to talk to you earlier, I'm very sorry about your mom." Rory clenched her teeth and looked away.

"Yes, well, thank you."

"It must've been really hard for you, Rory." Rory avoided to look at the woman sitting next to her. "You know you can always find a second home with us." Rory gulped.

"Thank you, Barbara, means a lot that you say so, but I'm really fine now." The older woman nodded in comprehension and smiled sympathetically at Rory, the blue eyed girl only wanting to slap that out of her face. What do people think she was? Their good deed of the day?

Dean came down the stairs, avoiding Rory from snapping at Barbara, and she wasn't really grateful for that.

"Rory, sorry, I didn't realized you were here." Dean said and the two teenagers looked at Barbara who only smiled, Rory stood up from her seat and threw her a glare, then walked up to Dean, who was waiting for her in the foyer. "What was that all about?" He whispered to her.

"You don't want to know." Rory opened the door and waited outside for Dean, who followed a moment after. He stared at her uniform for a moment and then at her face, he was a little agape.

"Rory-" she cut him off with her lips swiftly, making him forget his next words. "Woah, ah, okay, what's gotten you into this mood?"

"School." She answered easily as she clasped her hand with his and walked together to the street.

"You're kidding me, right?" He asked with a smile, fully relieved Rory was still the Rory he knew, after all of this.

"Nope, I really needed a distraction." He nodded. "Besides, I met some great people today."

"Really? In Chilton, previously known as hell?" He joked and Rory poked him with her elbow.

"Yes, I met some great people in hell, if you're going to make me say it." Dean smiled and threw his arm around her shoulders, holding her closer. They were heading towards the town's square, he knew it was the only place she could possibly manage to be at for too long.

"Well, tell me about these amazing people then."

"It wasn't so much as me meeting them precisely today, because I had already talked to them before, but I really got some successful second first impressions." Dean frowned but he kept his smile.

"Okay, tell me about them."

"Do you remember this girl Paris?"

"The scary one?"

"That's the one and only."

"Yes."

"We started with the right foot today, I think, it is a good thing to have her on my side." She paused as they climbed the stairs up to the gazebo. "Madeline and Louise were really nice to me today and uh, I think you also remember Tristan?" Dean's brows furrowed and his face hardened at the mention of the blonde guy.

"Yes, I think I remember the asshole." Rory shot him a look.

"He's not that bad." Dean looked at her skeptically. "He was that bad before, I'll admit it, but he's different, he's really nice now, we held a civilized interaction for one and, I don't know he seemed sort of..." She bit her lip for effect and then smiled looking away. "Changed." Dean's eyes clouded with jealousy.

"What, did he charmed you now?" He shook his head angrily and stood up from his seat, walking to the other extreme of the gazebo.

"What? Dean, of course not, I'm just telling you about-"

"If you're going to moon about other guys at least have the decency to do that in some other place." Rory walked to stand next to him and placed a hand on his, whimpering slightly when he took his hand away abruptly.

"I wasn't mooning over Tristan, I was just telling you about how he wasn't the asshole you met once."

"Rory, this people don't change out of the blue; if he's being nice to you now, he obviously wants something more." Rory scowled at him and scoffed.

"So now every boy that approaches me instantly wants to take advantage of me? I can have male friends."

"No, that's not what I'm saying, not every boy, Tristan yes." He paused. "And of course you can have male friends, just not him."

"Why not him?"

"Because he has a thing for you, Rory! He won't respect you and he won't respect your friendship." Dean said, exasperated and boiling with anger.

"You're wrong, he does not have a thing for me and he will respect me and whatever I give him, because he has changed."

"I can't believe we're arguing over this prick." Dean shouted. "He's toxic, Rory."

"How would you know? You've only met him once."

"Because of what you've told me." He snapped. "I don't want you near this guy." Rory scoffed bitterly and shook her head disbelievingly.

"Well, too bad then, because you don't get to decide who's my friend or isn't." She stormed out of the gazebo and walked over to the street corner where her family's driver had parked the car. She hopped into the black BMW and signaled for the driver to go back to Hartford, just when they were outing Stars Hollow, Rory's troubled expression turned into a pleased one; this was fun.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading :) anything youd like to comment or suggest will be extremely appreciated and noted.**

 **I know it is hard to imagine that Rory would change into this, but it is all part of the plot ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

Not two hours after she arrived to the pool house Rory already had ten missed calls and seven voice messages from Dean. She hadn't wanted to listen to the voice mails or return the calls just yet, she figured making him work for her attention gave her more satisfaction in her latest masterpiece.

Rory hadn't really been one for lying before and everyone knew that; she had had to be the most honest and serious person when you wanted her to be, but now, it was like the words just came out of her mouth naturally without any apparent reason and she knew exactly what to say next. She felt good about it because of the control it gave her. She had lied to Dean about Tristan all the way too; she hadn't talked to him at all and as far as she could see he was the same old jerk she knew, but the memory of him like that didn't sound half bad to her now.

Rory would be happy to talk to Tristan, she wanted to see how it was that they enrolled, which personality she had to choose with him, which costume to wear around him. She was real curious when it came to him, nothing was pointing to the possibility where she would get to play with him too, because of what she said at the end of last year. She didn't really hate him; nothing near that word actually, she had been indifferent to him all along. Now, that mere look on his eyes intrigued her to no end.

Rory had heard plenty of conversations in the girls bathrooms for her to make a suitable idea as to who Tristan Dugrey really was; playboy, fuckboy, Godsend to woman, he was ruthless and spontaneous, he got into trouble because he liked it, he also liked to stay in control, he was tough and careless, he lied and manipulated with charm. All of this things she had heard a year ago and she had held the exact opposite opinion to what she thought now: check-pot.

Though, it was clear to her that he wouldn't be one easy to deceive, there was no bad in trying. Tristan looked like a challenge to her, but she needed time to get ready for that. Paris, Dean, her grandparents, they all were very easy to trick and that was because they trusted her, that was because they cared a lot that if not for her, for anything else surrounding. Tristan didn't and Rory hardly doubted that he cared for anything concerning his life.

She had made her decision already, though her complete plan of action wasn't set, she could begin with some simple setting on the grounds.

* * *

The next morning Rory woke up with a faint wake of excitement, it was more than that, she couldn't explain. She put on her uniform, bending the skirt upwards again and putting the shirt and the vest of the school on; she pulled her hair up in an elegant up-do, letting some of her curls hang around tauntingly. She decided to wear a more striking lipstick color; something passion or pink whatever, she finished putting some last details into her day's presentation and smiled at her reflection in the mirror.

Once she arrived to Chilton, now in a completely acceptable hour, she walked more confident in the hallway, feeling stares head her way, she just shrugged them off and kept on with the path to her locker. She unloaded books from the day before, though she didn't really use them, nor had she done the homework. She frowned to herself, this was odd and extremely unsettling. This wasn't Rory Gilmore, but that thought only made her feel alright again.

"Are you going in for the Franklin or not?" One extremely loud voice said next to her.

"I don't know, Paris, why?" Rory replied roughly.

"Wow, somebody is cranky today." Rory sighed.

"Sorry, Dean and I had a fight yesterday, it's been carrying me down." Paris frowned.

"Oh, well, why did you fight?"

"I don't know, I guess I just touched a nerve, I really wanted to talk to you about that, Paris." The blonde girl seemed startled for a moment.

"Me? Why me?" Rory chuckled.

"Well, we're friends, this is what friends do; they talk about each other's problems and stuff."

"Really?" She asked wrenching her nose, Rory looked at her pointedly. "Right, this is what we do." Rory nodded and smiled.

"Well, what did you asked me just now? About the Franklin?"

"Are you joining in? I looked at the signing sheet, and your name wasn't there so..."

"I don't know, I don't think so, too much workload." Paris frowned deeply and shook her head.

"But you have to join." Rory raised an eyebrow at her as she closed her locker, getting nothing for her next classes. "I-well-I think you would do great there," she looked down. "It really is an opportunity you don't want to miss on." Rory seemed to look over it. "I'm the editor so, if you think your back is too heavy on homework just let me know and we'll sort something out." She insisted. Rory tried to suppress the satisfied smirk.

"Wow, Paris, yes, thanks, I'm in." Paris sighed contentedly.

"Great, first meeting is tomorrow at three, don't be late." She called the last part over her shoulder and she walked away.

Rory Gilmore grinned triumphantly as she acknowledged that two more steps were down for that rollercoaster to start on its rounds.

* * *

She had AP English Literature with Tristan; she wasn't surprised to see him there even after the gossip in the girls' bathroom never seemed to echo the word 'smart', he was smart, she already knew that. There was a reason for all of his trouble in school and it wasn't about his grades, that when he had low scores it was because of his tardiness or his absences.

She sat down a row before his and a place next to his; his place in the classroom being the far off corner nearer to the door, she had spotted one or two girls eyeing him through the door window and make some sort of noise at which he either ignored or asked to go to the bathroom or the nursery or simply snook out of the classroom. He was careless, yes, but he had also no sense of responsibility or respect for any kind of authority or for anything really and Rory began to admire why it was so.

Ms. Ryan was talking about the great American novels and why they deserved to be called that, and which books just simply didn't. Rory was interested, but she hadn't gotten her book out of her locker, she was just scrabbling in her notebook whatever seemed important and then moving her attention to another thing. She was looking at the clock, placed right above the classroom door and wondering why and if anyone cares to notice that it had stopped working, when she felt eyes on her, her sight moved later to Tristan who was studying her with amusement. He held her gaze, piercing through her and then going down to her crossed legs, making her skirt go higher on her thighs and then when he noticed she was still looking at him, he winked at her and smirked faintly, then chuckled silently as his gaze went back to class momentarily again.

Rory did the same, only her mind didn't go back to great American literature with her. Her cheeks felt hot, she was flushed, and her palms felt sweaty. She hadn't been able to control any of that; she had held his gaze and all he did was chuckle, he did not feel uneasy by the attention because he was used to that by now. She couldn't control this and it sucked. But there was one thing she could control though.

Rory leaned down to grab another notebook from her bag, causing her skirt to slide further up her thighs; she began to write down again random things she heard in class and made no move to correct her skirt. She crossed and uncrossed her legs, every time she did so, more of her milky white tights was exposed and she ran a hand through her leg, scratching slightly on one spot as it had been itching and tracing small circles on her skin. Then, the bell rang.

Rory picked up her things and stuffed them into her bag again, walking by Tristan on her way out.

"Such a tease." She heard him mutter. And she stopped herself on her tracks.

"Did you say something to me?" She asked firmly to him as she turned on her heels to watch him retreat himself from his seat.

"No, now, Rory, why would I do such thing?" She frowned. "I don't waste time on people who loathe me."

"But-"

"And if what you wanted was my attention in there, you got it, but I have seen that little show already. I'm bored." Rory's face hardened.

"You're a jerk."

"Tell me something new." He said sardonically over his shoulder as he walked down the halls.

Rory had wanted to slap his insufferable smirk away from that face; just catch up with him and slap him hard across the face. But she just stood still in the place outside the classroom, dumbfounded. She had not been able to control him, he had said he paid attention to her, maybe he had even admitted that Rory had some sort of pull with him for a moment or two, but it wasn't enough, and she couldn't see how she was ever going to gain what she wanted from him. She admired that for a second; how he had responded to nothing and if he did, he had made it sound like it didn't matter anyway. She admired how he walked around so offhandedly, so free from everybody, he had not let himself be willed by some skirt and some legs like other guys would have been. He was stronger, and she admired that.

Oh dear lord, what was wrong with her? She admired Tristan Dugrey.

* * *

"Hello Rory, I've seen you've taken a liking to dress up for school." Madeline and Louise caught up with her at the end of the day, with matching smirks and a complicity glance, one walking by each of Rory's sides. "I like it." Said Louise.

"Thank you."

"Yes, well, see; we have a couple of guys crushing over you these past two days." Began to explain Madeline, "and maybe you could make an appearance at my next party so you could...decide."

"Decide on what?" Rory asked.

"Which guy you choose."

"What guys?"

"By God, I thought this one was fast." Muttered Louise as she rolled her eyes, Rory scowled at her.

"The guys crushing over you." Madeline intervened sweetly.

"Ah, well, I have a boyfriend, so..."

"Oh, well, bring him too then." Offered Madeline as she handed an orange flyer to Rory. "It would be really nice if you came." Rory eyed the flyer.

"It's a back to hell party, the first weekend into school year, a tradition." Said Louise. "Not everyone gets invited."

"But like I said before, you've caught eye so, I really hope you're there."

"Yeah, sure guys, thanks." The two girls went away together and Rory eyed the flyer once more, then smirked faintly.

"Ah, climbing the social ladder now, are you Mary?" She shifted her shoulder at the sound of the voice.

"What are you talking about?"

"Not just everyone gets invited to _that_ kind of party." Tristan said, showing off his own flyer on the air. "Only a certain part of the Chilton population. I hear Paris isn't getting invited, you've officially taken her place in the palace."

"What? But Madeline and Louise are her best friends; and we have only been two days into school." Tristan shrugged, apparently not caring about that either.

"Friendships here are a little...tricky. One would think you've already figured out that on your own."

"Well, apparently not." He held her gaze and then grinned. "You'll like it up here with us, you'll see." He was starting to walk away.

"I couldn't care any less, really." He shook his head as he turned back to see her and chuckled.

"Well, let me change your mind around Saturday." And he was off.

Rory saw him walk off to the parking lot and then get into his car, a black Porsche. Rory smiled; this was getting better and better.


	4. Chapter 4

She had gotten home from school around five, not really tired this time. She was listening to the voice mails Dean had left; they all said the same; that he was really sorry and that he had overreacted, that they needed to talk and that she had been right. Rory smiled at all the apologies and at times to the slight begging. She would not call back however, maybe later into the week.

She scanned the flyer that remained in her hand since it had been handed to her and felt a satisfied and anticipated feeling of pleasure go all around her; this was going to be fun. She would call Dean back, say, Thursday and take him to the party Saturday.

She hadn't taken what Tristan said to her about Paris very seriously; he had been right about friendships being tricky at Chilton and that was why statuses always changed and varied in that school. But even when she didn't believe it, the comment had made her blood rush and she felt a certain kind of accomplishment and security at the moment.

Then, she thought about what Madeline said; that she had caught the eye of certain males in her class, she liked the attention she had received in the halls; it made her feel pretty, no matter how lame that sounded. She had felt more confident with every glance she took and apparently all the work she had put on herself in the morning had paid off.

It was Thursday night and Rory was sitting at her grandparents' living room, waiting patiently for Emily to get down the stairs with a certain 'present' she had for Rory. Lorelai would've said she was just looking for her gun. That damn headache again. She tried not to think about what her mother would've said. The headache always came back when she did.

"This maids, one would think that with the salary we pay them they at least would make their job right." Emily complained as she marched down the stairs, graceful as ever. "I looked for this everywhere for half an hour. I'm sorry if I kept you waiting for too long, Rory."

"Oh, no, that's okay grandma, really. It's peaceful in here."

"Yes, that's it, I always did thought of my house as sort of peaceful." Rory smiled politely and studied the box in her grandma's hands; it was larger rather than big and it was a simple white, sort of a quick wrap it up. Rory frowned at this, Emily wasn't this sort of person.

"Here, this is for you." She said as she handed the box to Rory. "Open it." Emily urged. Rory smiled gratefully and complied.

"Wow, this is beautiful, grandma." Rory exclaimed when she opened the box. There was a beautiful white dress stuffed in there, bent carefully, it was truly something.

"I'm glad you like it because you're going to wear it for your coming out party." Emily said enthusiastically as she clasped two hands together.

"Coming out of what party?"

"As debutante, of course, society needs to acknowledge what a perfect granddaughter I have."

"Oh." A debutante? Was she already in that world? Was there any turning back on it? She certainly hoped not. Rory had seen how these people moved and loved, they were as close as you could get to soulless automatons; they didn't feel and they didn't care about it. The lack of feelings in this world actually gave you an advantage, a big one at that.

"But don't stress about anything other than looking pretty; I'll take care of all the planning and the guesting, you'll just have to stand there and smile." Emily kept trying to persuade her, oblivious to the fact that Rory needed no more convincing.

"Okay, I can do that, I guess."

"Perfect, and you'll also need an escort, but I'll take care of that too. Someone from Hartford elite obviously. Easy on the eye, someone who'll look great next to you." Emily's face lightened up. "I know just the name, I'll make the call." Rory tried to suppress the grin at her grandmother's eagerness.

"Sure, I'll go into the pool house, I have some homework to get done."

"Oh, of course, Rory, I'm sorry I kept you here for too long. Go, go and finish your work." Rory nodded and crossed the living to the back door, walking to the pool house slowly.

She retrieved her phone from her pocket and decided to make a call she had been waiting to make.

"Rory?" Dean's urgent voice filled her ears after two short _bips_. "God, I'm so happy you called me back."

"Yeah, listen..."

"I overreacted completely and I was wrong too, because if you say Tristan has changed and that he's your friend, I have no right to doubt your words."

"Thank you, but he's not my friend, I just said he changed, I said maybe he deserved a second chance." Dean sighed.

"Okay, that's fine too." He paused. "I really want us to be okay, Rory; I will respect your choices completely from now on."

"Thank you again, and I can understand why you snapped out like that. It all just came out of the blue for me too. I can't really tell you how impressed I was when he helped me with my books first day, and he continued to be nice to me." She said sheepishly.

"He helped you with your books? Really?"

"Yeah, I tell you, he really wants to make a good impression this time around." She heard Dean groan.

"Rory, I just...don't trust this guy, at all." He said through gritted teeth. "But, like I said, it's your decision and you can have friends that are male and I friends that are female because we trust and love each other, right?"

"Right."

"Good."

"Hey, Dean, I...well, I wanted to see if you would like to go to a party with me on Saturday; apparently is the big event of the year." Rory started, hopefully.

"A Chilton party?" He asked with a little insecure tone.

"Well, yes. I got invited Tuesday and I really feel like going but I want to see you too. What do you say?" There was a small silence, and Rory could almost hear Dean thinking, the little wheels on his brain turning. Then, he sighed resigned.

"Okay, I'll go, then I guess I'll pick you up Saturday at eight?"

"You guess right."

* * *

She was sitting at calculus class Friday morning; her seat was strategically next to the window at the back of the class. The big, crystal window wasn't distracting her, but the thing that was though, was the actual class. Rory got bored easily after a few explaining of the formula of this and the equation of that, but her mind was always off elsewhere.

Tristan was sitting in front of the classroom at the sharp request of the teacher because he didn't pay enough attention. Tristan, of course, was capable of making a mess of himself anywhere he sat at; so it didn't matter anyway; he was always talking with whomever was next or sitting behind him.

"Excuse me, Ms. Gilmore, what's so interesting outside the window that it has taken your attention completely from the class?" Mr. Remingberg asked, all eyes were suddenly on her expecting for her answer.

"Pretty much anything is much more interesting than your class." She answered easily. There were surprised glances, even a few smirks at that, suppressed little laughs, but Rory didn't care for it as she yawned.

"Well, if you think so, then you shouldn't be taking my class at all."

"On that we agree." She said blatantly.

"Then, I expect you to enjoy detention so much more. And you're dismissed from the rest of the class Ms. Gilmore, I am not interested on students who don't care about their futures." Rory rolled her eyes and sighed, taking her book bag and walking to the front of the class for the little pink sheet of paper that read a big 'Detention' on it and walked out of the door with an insolent smile to the teacher.

Once she was outside the classroom, her eyes were wide. Did she really just do that? What had gotten into her, then? She hadn't thought she hated that class or that teacher for the matter that much to do that. Answering back was never a Rory Gilmore move; she looked down to her feet; her mom would've laughed at the story and then maybe urge her to apologize to the teacher. Her head cringed strongly and she felt the need to close her eyes tightly. That headache.

She made the long walk to her locker, not really caring on whether she'd make it to her next class in time. She left her book inside the locker and kept her gaze straight into the hollowness of it. The quietness was somewhat comforting again in that building, but she knew it wouldn't take long for the bell to ring so she just rested against her locker with her eyes closed and breathing in and out calmly.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" So much for silence. Rory opened her eyes to fixate her gaze on the blonde, angry girl in front of her. "Are you trying to get yourself out of Harvard on purpose?"

"What are you talking about?" Rory played dumb, but she knew the gossip spread quickly around here.

"Answering back to Mr. Remingberg, yeah, all classes are boring but we don't tell them that. It's a well-kept secret."

"I don't like keeping secrets." Replied Rory simply, a little amused with the situation, because if she was being honest she didn't care much about detention.

"Snap out of that attitude, Gilmore." Paris said with anger. "Getting detention isn't great for your record and if your record is full with them, then Harvard won't even glance at you twice, Rory, you know that."

"Paris, you have to stop being so intense about it, is one detention and I'm sure Harvard won't mind that. And in any case, it's junior year, live a little, college will be waiting there." Paris raised her eyebrows at Rory.

"Okay, I think I missed the day hippies came here to give a talk about only living once and giving free samples of pot."

"I think I missed that day too, what an amazing coincidence." Rory sighed and smiled at Paris. "I'm just saying, we get to have a little fun once in a while, and I won't answer back to teachers again, so don't worry."

"Well, I guess you could be right, we don't have to be so uptight." Rory grinned.

"Exactly, that's why I decided to go to Madeline's party tomorrow, you're going to be there, right?" Rory asked innocently and watched Paris' face falter for a second and then recover at a lame pace for someone as practical as her.

"Yeah, right." She almost said under her breath.

"Great, then see you later." And Rory walked away with her book bag, feeling a little more than prized with Paris' expression and moment of realization. This was worth buying popcorn for.

* * *

Later that day, Rory was walking towards detention with nothing but thrill. Paris had confronted Madeline and Louise about not inviting her to the party and they ended up inviting her out of pity or obligation or fear; whichever works best. She had done that in front of the cafeteria, everyone was watching and Rory just happened to be walking by when it happened. Paris had been real mad, and she had made herself a public spectacle once again.

She walked into the room and she seemed to be the first one there, she sighed with weariness and sat down at the back row, right down in the middle. She took out her book, but then after only swapping through the pages without really understanding anything she closed it and stared at the ceiling hoping for it to break and take her out of the room and her misery. Just then, a few people walked in; regulars to detention she could see. A few of the kids who always smoked in the bathrooms, prankers and horny boys and girls. Then, she saw who she had been expecting to be there; the blonde guy walked in with a certain air of familiarity to the room and waved shortly to some of the girls in the front, then, as if almost feeling her staring, his eyes met with hers for the briefest of seconds and he smirked, walking over to the place next to hers and moving his table closer to hers.

"Hey, Mary."

"You know, Tristan, your memory sucks. It's Rory, my name hasn't changed."

"Ah, I missed that somehow." He smirked at her. "And anyway, I don't think it fits you anymore, after all, you are in detention."

"Yes, I am." She agreed. "What did you do now?"

"I'm touched that you even care." Rory just held his gaze with a smile. "Fine, if you should know, my uniform stinks of cigarette, and apparently Headmaster Charleston doesn't like that very much."

"Was it really because of that?" Tristan shrugged.

"I don't really know, I just had the pink sheet on my blazer pocket, so I showed up."

"Always the good example of responsibility, I see."

"Indeed, Gilmore, and I saw your little spat with Mr. Remingberg, I'm impressed, I didn't know you had it in you. Oh, no, wait, I did. That one time you didn't make it in time for an exam and called Paris a jerk." He recalled with a little laugh and Rory joined him in it. Then, when she realized what she had just done, her face went blank again. Wow, she hadn't remembered how it felt to laugh so freely about something without the thought of...the headache again. She flinched. "Are you okay?" She nodded her head as a response and opened her eyes after a while.

"It's just this headaches I keep having."

"I see." She was just turning her face to him again when she felt his strong hand on the back of her head, rubbing circles and then caressing her hair; she tensed but didn't say anything. He kept a hand running through her hair and then placed it lightly on her cheek, she felt her face heat. "You haven't called me an asshole yet, this must be some kind of record." He told her softly, watching her relax slightly at his touch. She raised one eyebrow at him.

"It must be." He kept his hand on her cheek and he leaned closer to her ear.

"That show you gave me the other day, not boring at all." He whispered as he slipped a hand in her thigh. She groaned as she pushed him off of her abruptly.

"Asshole." He tsked with his tongue.

"Damn, Mary I thought we were for the long run here." And she smiled in spite of herself, he smirked back. "Are you coming to the party tomorrow?"

"I might." She said shortly.

"Hmm, mystery then." She nodded. "Well, if you get bored sometime around the night, we can always recreate a little something by the piano." she poked him and watched his face, he was a little taken aback she could see; by now, he had expected some insult, even a yelling match, but there was something different about her and he showed how interested he was.

"Wish I could, but I have a boyfriend." He pouted mockingly, but Rory had to say, he would look extremely sexy doing any kind of face.

"Never stopped me before." He said huskily as he leaned in again. "It is really just a mere technicality."

"Dean will love it when he hears his new title."

"I can't say I'm surprised you're still with bag-boy. Now, be real here Rory, is it because of the discount?" Rory scowled at him and rolled her eyes playfully.

"I don't have to use coupons anymore." She played along, this was good. Tristan laughed and Rory felt herself smile and tingle at the sound of it; so careless and so inhibited, it was almost seducing.

"You know, this is extremely weird; Rory Gilmore in detention talking to me. We should definitely do this more often."

* * *

She had gotten back to the pool house an hour later, she frowned in consideration to the conversation she had had with Tristan for a little over an hour. Oddly enough, they had gotten along and she had laughed more than one time with him. He was the first one who had been able to make her laugh, and genuinely. All the time she had been talking to him, Rory hadn't been planning on what to say next, on how to hold control over him; she hadn't played with him, at all. It was the first genuine conversation she had had with anyone in a long time. And she felt somewhat tranquillized by it.

No, she couldn't play with him; he wouldn't let her play with him. He had a game of his own.


	5. Chapter 5

She was looking at herself in the mirror with a somber expression in her face, she was naked and staring with no thought crossing her mind, however the only thing she could see were her eyes over her body's pale skin. She had always had a security over her body, never really caring whether she ate healthily or not, her body always a second image to her, nothing of much importance. But now, it was all the way around, she felt she wasn't skinny enough, not curvy enough, that her body was missing of a certain something that would make her look more beautiful. Rory knew she was pretty, that some people might even call her beautiful for her looks, for her big, blue eyes, her skin complexion always complimented by those pompous friends of her grandmother's. She had security in herself, but when she looked at herself in the mirror, she was lacking of something that had been there before, she just couldn't put a word to it.

She grabbed a black, short skirt and put a soft pink top next to it; she hoped that's the way one dressed to this kind of parties. She remembered Louise's outfit for one of the parties and Rory found hers suiting enough for the occasion. She put her clothes on and grabbed her black ankle boots, then applied a soft make up, but very heavy on the eyes, her hair fell down in long curves. She held back the thought that said she kind of looked slutty, but she comforted herself with the thought that it was just slutty enough. Of course, she wouldn't let her grandma watch her leave like this, she would have a panic attack if she did.

Rory sneaked out of the pool house and once again by the back lane to the front door; she hadn't let Emily know she would be out. Rory knew that if she found out she had gone out without permission, she had another thing coming, but she only felt excited once she was out of the Gilmore estate. Adrenaline again. Dean had come in with his truck once more, and she couldn't avoid thinking that if they arrived to one of the Chilton parties in a car like that, everybody would laugh them off. She couldn't allow that.

"Hi, Dean." Rory said as she leaned on her tip toes to kiss him lightly on the lips. She saw him stare perplexed at her, with a little bit of wonder, and then he took his jacket off.

"Hi, aren't you cold? Here, have my jacket." He threw the garment around her shoulders but Rory took it off instantly and shook her head as a response as she gave him back his jacket. She noticed how he was dressed, she felt the need to sigh out of relief, at least he had dressed with the best he had in his closet.

"No, thanks, well, aren't you going to tell me how pretty I look?" He smiled softly as he began to take her in again.

"Of course, you look...amazing."

"I'm glad you think so, I dressed up just for you." He leaned in to give her another chaste kiss and then Rory whipped out the lipstick on his lips. "We might have to take my grandmother's car, the driver took the night off and-"

"Or we can just take my truck." Offered Dean simply as he pointed to his car in the driveway.

"That's the thing, you know how my grandma is, she worries for my safety and all, and your truck hasn't passed the Gilmore exam for safety, so she suggested we took hers, is it alright?" Dean's mouth twitched a little but he nodded in response. "And, can you move your truck away to the street, my grandma has nightmares about oil stings on her driveway." Rory asked him sweetly he nodded again and did what he was asked to.

In the mid-time Rory was taking the car keys off her purse, she had been preparing for this. She was grateful that the car's engine didn't do much of a noise and she met Dean outside in the street. He got into the shotgun seat and looked like he had been sulking just then.

"What's wrong?" She asked him; now off to the Hartford streets.

"Nothing." He said curtly.

"Dean?" Rory pushed. He sighed in frustration.

"It just seems like you may be embarrassed of me." Wow, the kid could be really perceptive at times. "And I know I don't fit right into this world, Rory, but I'm not going to change."

"Hey, I'm not embarrassed of you. Where did that come from?"

"I can see it, Rory, is that simple sometimes."

"Well, maybe you saw wrong, because I'm not hiding you or anything, why would I bring you then?" Dean remained quiet, he seemed to be actually thinking through it. "I want you to meet my friends; for everyone at Chilton to know I have a boyfriend whom I love, and deeply so." Dean smiled at the girl driving next to him.

"I love you, too." He put a hand on top of hers and retrieved it quickly. "I'm sorry, I just had been really distracted lately, I guess. I've been overreacting over everything."

"Yes, you have. But I like your little paranoia."

"I'm not paranoid." He protested lightly as they passed down a Main Street in Hartford and the loud music could be heard from down the street. "I think we're here." Rory parked down a few houses from Madeline's, since every parking space nearer was taken already.

They both got out the car and walked hand in hand to the gorgeous mansion Rory remembered. She thought of Lane then, when she brought her to one of this parties, and what an amazing time her friend had. God, Lane, she hadn't talked to her or even thought about her earlier. Rory felt like such a bad friend.

"What are you thinking about?" Dean asked, breaking her train of thought. "You seemed worried."

"Oh, just a bunch of homework I haven't done." She answered quickly. "But I'll worry about that tomorrow." Dean smiled and nodded. "Come on."

They walked inside the mansion and were quickly stroked with the smell of alcohol and cigarettes and strong colognes and perfumes mashed together. Maybe some pot too. The house was full, but the air had something about it that made Rory want to stay. People were having fun here, the kind of fun Rory craved to have.

"Wow, are you sure you want to stay, Ror?" Dean questioned, revealing how he felt about the party.

"Absolutely."

"Hey Rory! You came!" Madeline came to her, raising from the long crowd. "This is perfect, I want you to meet somebody." Rory nodded and then Madeline seemed to notice the boy behind Rory. "Oh, hi, Dean, right? I'm Madeline."

"Hi." He replied simply.

"Well, I'll look for Malcolm and then I'll look for you, Rory. The drinks are over at the kitchen and nothing is off limits." She said with a grin and then walked away.

"Malcolm?" Asked Dean, with a sort of jealous air.

"I have no idea." Rory said honestly. "Lets get some drinks." She grabbed Dean's hand and tried to pull him to the kitchen, but he stood still and Rory just raised a brow at him. "What?"

"I'll just wait for you in this corner, I don't feel like socializing." Rory scowled at him and shrugged, walking away towards the kitchen.

There, she found Paris near the island where the bottles were all over the place. The blonde girl had her arms crossed over her chest and she was glaring at whomever dared look at her or push her with drunken clumsiness. Down at the corner, there were a couple really going at it and down the door headed elsewhere were entering two boys with cigarettes trapped between their fingers.

Rory walked to the island and grabbed a red cup, glancing at all the bottles of alcohol, be sure on which to grab; she must have really looked conflicted. If it hadn't been for her deciduous nature she would've grabbed any bottle that wasn't broken. One of the guys with the cigarettes approached her with a smirk and then Rory realized she had seen him before; he was one of Tristan's friends.

"I think you'll like rum better," he offered as he grabbed one of the bottle with a brownish content and poured some into Rory's cup. "Just don't drink too much of it; I'd hate for you to lose your grace all of a sudden, but if you do sometime around the night, you can always come find me." He offered suggestively. Rory frowned and smirked a little.

"Huh, thanks for the offer but I already have that covered."

"Really? Because you do seem quite lonely over here." He placed a hand on her waist and pulled her closer, she shoved him off immediately.

"Get your hands off me, I will never be that drunk." The guy's friend laughed and smiled at Rory, then he winked, but somewhat there wasn't anything that bothered her about it, his face to her seemed a little encouraging, as if he was approving of her rejecting his friend. But hey, what do you know, right?

"Whatever you want, prude." He spat at her rudely and walked over to his friend, who was still laughing, they guy pushed him and told him to shut up.

"Jerk." She muttered. Rory looked up and saw Paris scanning her, it seemed she had been the audience to that little and particular scene; Rory walked up to her with a smile.

"Hi, hadn't seen you there." Paris didn't say anything as she saw Rory's clothes and makeup. After a long silence she spoke up.

"You look like Louise in her best days."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment, or?"

"That's supposed to mean what it means, figure it out. And I'm sorry you had to deal with Bowman there." She pointed with her head to the two guys now talking what seemed about something serious. "But that outfit you're wearing drags dogs like those."

"Hey, I'm starting to feel attacked." Rory said, getting annoyed with Paris' forwardness.

"Sorry, I just didn't want to come." Rory frowned, a little confused, then she took a big gulp out of what Bowman had served her in the cup. She grimaced a little.

"But-"

"I know what I said in the cafeteria, but that wasn't an invitation, not a proper one, they didn't want to, but they felt like they had to."

"That's not true, Madeline and Louise are your best friends." Rory pushed.

"Wrong, they're each other's best friends and I'm just there to make them look less stupid." Paris said with grudge. "But, coming to the party after that, it just makes me look lame and I know it, you don't have to sugar coat it for me."

"I wasn't going to, actually." Rory said and Paris looked at her, eyebrows raised. "My look on this situation is that they don't longer see you as the one to follow because you don't longer keep a relevance in Chilton."

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, your time is over, you wasted it in hating me and Tristan over your stupid and, may I say, misplaced jealousy. You're not up there anymore, however, I am." Rory said with a conceited smirk, this was all about the acting.

"I can't believe you really think there's an 'up there' in Chilton, everyone in that school is just craving for the attention they don't get in their houses, I'm just sorry to say, you're officially one of us, Rory."

"And you're officially a loser, Paris. Enjoy yourself tonight, maybe you'll even get to do some homework for when Harvard time arrives."

"That's both of our dreams, so don't you make fun of it." Rory chuckled bitterly.

"I'm just sorry to see how all of your life you're going to get confused for the teacher. No one is ever going to like you, Paris, not if you're such a jerk all the time." Then, with a frown and a speechless Paris, Rory went away through the door and to find Dean, still in the corner she had left him in. Rory drank in the last of her drink and walked up to him.

"That took you long enough." He said with a vague expression.

"I'm sorry, I ran into a friend."

"Tristan?" He asked, now really waiting for an answer, there was the jealousy again.

"No, Paris." Dean nodded. "Are you getting bored?"

"Well, there's not much to do around here, only watching people do stupid things."

"I'd say that's fairly entertaining." Dean smiled at her.

"It may be."

"But it's no fun if we're the only ones who aren't doing anything stupid, dance with me?" Dean chuckled.

"That's your idea of something stupid?" Rory nodded.

"Yes, have you ever seen me dance before? There's a reason why I don't do it." She grinned sheepishly as she led him to the place in the house where everyone was dancing, they walked up to the smash of people in the middle and Rory began to move according to the beat of the music, Dean smiled as he took her by the waist. "See? Stupid."

"You make a point." He was smiling now, but that fainted seconds later. Right on schedule.

"Hey stock boy, where's that apron of yours?" Rory turned to see Tristan, approaching them with a dirty blonde by his side and a smirk on his face. He was wearing a casual pair of jeans and a navy blue sweater that brought out the color of his eyes. His hair seemed messier than it did in school, he had those bedroom eyes. Rory smiled at him.

Tristan walked up to her, leaving the blonde faintly behind him and snaked an arm across her waist, kissing her on the cheek slowly, her neck tingled, everything tingled. "So the mystery is solved." He whispered and then he backed away. He looked around looking for someone and then he signaled for the blonde to join him. "This is my date, Karen, this is Mar-sorry, Rory and her boyfriend Dan." Rory chuckled silently in spite of herself. Tristan saw this and he winked at her.

"It's actually Dean." The tall guy corrected, almost about to break.

"Oh, okay, good for you then." Said Tristan dismissively and Dean rolled his eyes. "It's been good to have this little reunion, hasn't it? But, unfortunately I have to cut it short; Karen and I have something to get busy on." The blonde girl, though really expressionless before, poked Tristan at his words, but grabbed his hand to follow him however. "See you later, Rory." He said before he and Karen disappeared.

"I thought you said he had changed." Dean said, he was almost seeing red. How did the guy dare walk in and put his hands all over Rory?

"He has! He was just joking."

"I don't think so."

"Did you see him pull out a West Side Story on you?"

"No."

"Then I say that's progress, don't you agree?"

* * *

"I say we go, do you have the car keys?" Dean asked, they were at Madeline's patio, she had a big pool with a Jacuzzi and the party was still going full force, people were still arriving and some from other parties. They could say not one more soul could be kept in here, but every time the door was opened they were proven wrong. Rory was now on cup number five, and she was positively drunk. Dean was starting to get preoccupied, had her grandmother set a curfew?

"No, no, one more drink and we go, I promise." Dean frowned at Rory's pleas.

"That's what you said two drinks ago." He pointed.

"If you were having fun you wouldn't be counting. It's a fact."

"I rather keep my counting abilities functioning, Rory." He steadied her by the shoulders when she almost ran into a step.

"One more and we're gone, this time I'm serious." She promised.

"Fine, tell me where's the kitchen so I can lead you there." Rory chuckled.

"No way, you stay here I go get my drink. I'm still okay Dean, you don't have to worry." She said steadily and firmly looking into his eyes, he sighed.

"I'll wait for you right here."

"Great." Rory said and walked away towards the dancing floor and then the kitchen, pushing away bodies and taking away hands that didn't really belong there. Dean might have had a point when he suggested taking her to the kitchen himself but that wasn't on Rory's agenda.

When she got to the kitchen the bottles were almost out of anything, enough people had come in and out of the room and drank enough for that to happen. She looked around for Paris and fortunately didn't find the blonde girl anywhere in the room. Rory grabbed the first bottle within reach and poured the left of its contents into her cup.

"Didn't know you had a drinking problem, Mary. But I would be glad to help you push any addiction you have out of your body." Rory smiled and grabbed the hand that was now moving around her ribcage and pulling her closer to the body behind her.

"I don't need your help with that, thank you very much."

"Oh, but you do need my help with something." He whispered into her ear, Rory felt the need to gasp.

"Actually, yes." She pushed his hand off of her and turned around to look at him; he was close, very inappropriately close to her; his eyes almost seemed to hunt down her gaze. "But I don't want to interrupt your date with Karen." Tristan smirked.

"Oh, no, Karen and I won't see each other again any time soon."

"Oh, sorry."

"Why? I got what I wanted and she got more than she would've ever imagined." Rory rolled her eyes and suddenly felt the need to twitch at him, but she didn't make him back out.

"You're disgusting."

"Ah, yes, but you're drunk, so we're even. And besides, I believe you needed my help with something?" He stepped closer, putting both of his hands to rest on the edge of the island and definitely trapping Rory.

"Dean and I got into a fight-" she started.

"Not true, try again." Rory frowned at him and felt herself drowning.

"I'm not lying, we really did." He raised a skeptical brow at her and shook his head with a chuckle.

"Okay, you're not lying, but if you really got into a fight, why is he still here? And waiting for you to go back?" Rory opened her mouth and closed it again, looking at Tristan's chest rather than his eyes.

"Okay, I'm lying, I just wanted to get away from him is all and I need a hiding place, maybe a partner in crime too?" He looked at her in the eye but Rory didn't feel like she would be able to hold his gaze, so she looked away slightly.

"Then you came to the right person." He backed away from her and grabbed a bottle from behind her, a bottle that seemed to have the more liquid inside it of all and took Rory's hand in his, pulling her along with him. "And I know just the place too."

"We are in Madeline's house, right?" She asked suddenly.

"Yeah, why?"

"Are you taking me to the piano?" He snorted.

"No, Rory, this place is so much better." They reached the grand staircase with his words and they climbed up; the halls upstairs seemed to be infinite to Rory and all the rooms' doors were closed, either signaling it had been locked to hide something of value or someone was inside it, having a different kind of fun. They reached glass doors at the end of one hall, Tristan opened them with ease and stepped outside to the cold air of a really early morning.

"Wow, it's gorgeous." Rory said in awe as she walked outside to meet Tristan at the terrace. It was a normal stone structure and it had a lot of bindweeds all over, a table and three chairs, but what really made Rory stand amazed was the view; Madeline's terrace had a view of the city lights of Hartford, it almost seemed like stars had fallen from the sky and were all around the city.

"Yeah, it is." Tristan agreed as he sat down at the edge of the balcony, admiring the view in front of him. This once, not talking about the lights. Rory saw him stare at her and felt her cheeks heat again, she smiled sheepishly and sat down next to him in the balcony, willing herself not to look down.

"How did you find this place?"

"Maddie is one of my best friends, I came here a lot as a kid." He explained. Rory frowned.

"Doesn't look like you and Madeline have such a close friendship." He gave her a pointed look. "Right, tricky friendships." He chuckled.

"You seem to be doing quite all right for that to be your cup number..."

"Six of the night." He smirked.

"What have you done to my Mary?" He wondered out loud as he took a pack of cigarettes out of the pocket of his trousers and a lighter. Rory watched him light the cigarette with an obvious expertise; he appeared to relax once he inhaled and exhaled the smoke from his mouth. "What are you staring at?" He questioned as his eyes once again settled on her.

"Will you teach me?" She asked.

"Teach you what?"

"How to smoke." He didn't looked to be surprised or even the slightest startled at her request, he just kept looking at her as he finished the cigarette in his fingers, then, as he looked away to the lights he connected the rest of the cigarette to the sole of his shoe and threw away the ended little, white thing. Rory sat there, patiently waiting for an answer or something that looked like it; the alcohol in her made her feel dizzy, but somehow also gave her the courage to keep on with this. Thing was, she didn't need any substance in her to talk to Tristan like this; she had already figured out that the blonde guy was different, that he was a good liar and because of that he was able to tell when she was genuine and when not.

Tristan took another cigarette out of the packet and put it between his lips, lighting it up and sucking it once, then he grabbed it with his fingers and offered it to Rory.

"Uh, but-"

"Just hold it like this." He said, signaling to his fingers and watched Rory do the same. "It's very simple, just breathe it in, it's like a second kind of breathing." Rory eyed him and then inhaled from the cigarette, "breathe." He instructed, she did and felt as if something had stroke her lungs and her throat, instantly and naturally, Rory coughed. "That's normal, but not bad, some don't even dare to take the hit in."

"So, I did it fine?"

"Just practice, that's all it takes." Rory smiled at him and repeated the moves with the cigarette, later Tristan joined her. Rory couldn't really tell what she was feeling, it felt sort of intimate moment between the two.

"So, why would you want to hide from bag-boy?" He asked after a long and soothing silence.

"I'm sick of him." Rory answered immediately, without even realizing what she had just said, the greater consequences of drinking. Word vomit. Tristan smirked and stood up from his place in the balcony to grab the bottle he had brought from the kitchen and had left at the table earlier.

"Truth time then? Okay, I'm in, but we have to be even and you're a little ahead of me." He said and took a big gulp out of the bottle, he didn't grimaced or reacted to the taste, it was almost as if he had just drank plain water then he did it again.

"I just, don't know, he bores me now and then." Tristan nodded as if understanding and drank from the bottle again, leaving it aside.

"So this is what is about? You're looking for fun in Chilton?"

"Not exactly." She replied, almost feeling transparent in front of him.

"Hey, it's okay," he moved closer to her. "I was just about to say that there's no place better." Rory smiled at him. "It's home."

"You're not such a jackass anymore." He smiled back.

"You just think that because you're drunk, and a little changed." She poked him.

"Well, you're drunk too."

"Oh, but not as much as you are." Rory shied away a little and then looked at him again, moving closer to him this once.

"That's why I get to do something stupid." He was so close, he was looking at her lips and her eyes and she was doing the same.

"Something tells me you're going to do that a lot." He muttered almost to her lips.

He teased her a little, not completely touching her lips with his; but Rory wasn't making no move either, she liked it. Finally, he caught her bottom lip and she instantly kissed back and cherished the feeling of having the lips she had been dreaming of kissing her. His hand cupped her cheek and moved down to her neck. Rory's hands instantly got a hold of his sweater and pulled him closer to her. They deepened the kiss and Tristan placed a hand on her uncovered thigh, moving it slowly upwards under her skirt, leaving her skin to tingle. Rory whimpered slightly and as he was moving his mouth to kiss at her jaw the hearing of a breaking startled them.

The alcohol bottle had fallen from the balcony to the backyard, luckily falling on no one's head, but the noise and the mess made everyone there look up and find the two teenagers with their hands still not to themselves.

"Way to go, Tristan!" One guy screamed and following people started to whistle. He retrieved his hand from under Rory's skirt but did not let her go from him, he suddenly looked up back again to see her.

She was smiling. They both laughed.

* * *

 **Thank you so much for reading! :) I hope you are liking this story and please review with any of your thoughts or suggestions to make the fic better.**

 **Happy holidays.**


	6. Chapter 6

"I'm surprised, you didn't cry, you didn't run away...we should do this a thing." He said, guiding her inside by the small of her back.

"You think?"

"Okay, now I'm definitely scared, why haven't you slapped me?" Tristan questioned seriously, but Rory could see the faint smile on his face, and she felt like mirroring it.

"You said it yourself, I have changed." He stopped walking and pulled her by the waist, he stood there contemplating her.

"I see, is that a good thing, Rory?" She didn't know what to say; all of her being only wanted to kiss him again. She didn't want to think about it now, or ever if on her depended.

"I don't know." She found herself answering truthfully. Tristan smirked as he lowered himself and caught Rory's lips.

"You don't need to know." He kissed her again. "Not when you're with me." He traced her lower lip with his tongue and his lips captured hers again, pushing her against the wall and letting the kiss deepen. Rory placed her hands around his neck, rubbing the back of his head and gently running her hands through his tousled hair. Tristan's hands moved down to her hips slowly and tauntingly, then he traced patterns on her thigh and played with the fabric of her short skirt. Rory whimpered into the kiss and she could feel Tristan smirk.

"What are you smirking at?" She said, out of breath for a moment as she pulled back. He chuckled.

"Just kiss me, Rory." He placed butterfly kisses all over her jaw and her cheek, moving one of his hands to her hair; the feeling of it, so soft; everything about Rory was just like that. But the fact that he could sense and see how she wanted to change that, left Tristan to only feel conflicted about his emotions.

Rory's hands found the hem of his sweater and her hands slowly touched his abs. Her lips once again moved to find his in a heat that could only be described as urgent. He pulled away and kissed her neck, sucking softly and licking slowly, all of which made Rory moan out in pleasure, her actions stopped at the feeling in the pit of her stomach and the urgent feel between her legs growing in a way she couldn't both ignore and control.

"Tristan-" she whimpered.

"Just relax, Mare." He whispered to her neck, making her close her eyes and just focus on wanting him. He continued with his ministrations on her neck; he just wanted to hear those little noises she made again and again. His hands moved slowly upwards and to cup at her bra cautiously; he was still waiting for that moment when she would slap him and insult him for all of this, but it seemed as if it was never going to come, because Rory began to do a travel down his jeans. He could hear her heavy breathing hitch and alter as his hands explored her body. Rory felt him through his jeans and massaged slightly and hesitatingly.

"God, Rory." He pushed himself against her even more, if humanly possible and his lips went back to hers. Rory smirked into the kiss as he groaned softly against her at her movements. "What are your smirking at?" He said this once, his hands pushing away the soft cloth between Rory's legs and making her moan again.

"What the fuck?!" Tristan and Rory backed away from each other instantly and turned around to face the owner of the voice, only, Tristan didn't get the chance to because a fist made its way right up to his jaw. The blonde guy instantly responded to the fist and threw a punch at the tall guy in the stomach.

"Guys! Stop it!" That did no good, it only seemed to motivate them into fighting more. Rory only saw punching and kicking, noises of pain and then an unexpected crack. "Hey!" A porcelain jar had fallen and broken at the pushing of one of the guys, they all seemed startled.

"Great, are you going to pay for that, bag-boy?" Dean had been the one to push Tristan then. "I bet you don't even know what that costs, that's why you'd pick a fight in one of the most expensive houses in Hartford." Tristan picked his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans and left a five hundred bill on the table that had once held the jar. "And that's just the start of it."

"You're despicable." Said Dean, looking as if he would lose control again any second now. "What you were doing to my girlfriend just now deserves more than a black eye."

"What was I doing to your girlfriend, Dan? Maybe it's all a big misunderstanding, I can be fairly comprehensive." Dean stepped close to Tristan again, just about to punch his anger out on him, Tristan didn't flinch, his smirk just grew wider.

"Dean, no! He doesn't deserve this, he had no idea, I-I told him we had broken up, so he didn't know." Dean scowled furiously at Rory.

"Why would you tell him that?"

"Because I wanted to kiss him." Rory confessed and all of a sudden Dean's anger didn't seem to be there anymore, instead, something far more disturbing took its place. "And I'm also drunk..." Rory heard Tristan suppress a snort.

"That, she is." Tristan agreed, looking a little diminished himself.

"Can't you leave?!" Dean snapped. Tristan shrugged dismissively as he walked passed the damaged couple.

"I would be nicer to the person who just paid, no, is going to pay the ten-thousand-dollar base you broke." Dean seemed to be taken aback. "Yeah, that's right, your meaning of a fortune, but if you're so eager to kick me out, I'll be expecting those ten thousand; I'll give you my bank account number later, stock-boy." And he walked away leaving an amused Rory and a slightly regretful Dean.

"What just happened, Rory?!" The brunette girl chuckled ironically and patted Dean on the shoulder as she walked down the hall to where Tristan had been heading, knowing fully well that the tall guy behind her would be trailing after. "Rory!"

"Leave it, Dean." She demanded as she broke free of the grasp he had held on her forearm.

"No, you were just cheating on me with a guy you claimed to hate and whom I despise, and you just shrug it off like it was nothing." Rory suddenly felt the need to throw up, the dizziness was coming back, but she held it all. "It was nothing, right?"

There it was; he wanted Rory to beg for forgiveness, he wanted Rory to play with all the cards she had and at the end he was set to forgive and forget pretty much anything.

"I told you to leave it, so please do." She said again.

"I want an explanation Rory, please, just give me more than 'I'm drunk'." He begged. It was funny somehow, to see him pleading when in fact Rory was the one that had to do the begging. It sort of made her laugh, but for some unknown force, she stopped herself.

"That's it, there's nothing more than that; I wanted to kiss Tristan, and he did too, so it happened."

"But you had to lie; you told him we were done, is that what you really want, Rory?" She looked at him, and for someone who knew and had planned what came next to everything, she ended up more speechless than she had ever been. But, finally, sense kicked in.

"Of course not, I want to be your girlfriend, it was just...it's the alcohol! There's no other explanation, and I'm sorry if it's not enough." Dean watched her for another minute in which Rory only focused in keeping the insides of her stomach actually inside of her, then, he sighed and walked away towards the staircase; Rory followed because she needed the car and the designated driver to get partially safe to her destination.

All the walk downstairs and outside the big mansion Dean and Rory walked three feet distance from each other; Dean ahead of her and walking in a sulking way Rory was extremely familiar with; she could see he was mad, why wouldn't he be? She had been, indeed, making out- maybe more -with another guy and he had been right in front to witness it. Someone must have pointed him the direction to Rory Gilmore after the little show in the balcony and it had just been a matter of time for him to find them.

It hadn't been part of her actual plan, truth be told, but it had worked out quite alright. Maybe Tristan's nature in Rory's life was to help her achieve her goals and games, not to be a target in them. But it was harder to visualize that somehow. That blonde bad-natured guy had left her haunted with just the touch of his hands. And still now, as she walked behind her sulking boyfriend, the tingling of the other's hands was present on the back of her head. It was amazing how he did it; how he got what he wanted at the expense of just words and smiles. But he had had time to perfection what would be the flawless act of seduction and deceiving. Rory was just beginning to learn.

Soon as she realized Dean had slipped in the driver seat and started the engine, Rory hopped in the car as well with a dizzy movement of her body and stumbled against the leather back of her seat. They were exiting the expensive neighborhood when Dean started talking.

"It's not enough." He stated. "At all."

"Well, I'm sorry."

"You really aren't. You told me yourself, you wanted to do it." He threw her a glance with something in it, but Rory was staring straight ahead.

"I'm sorry I hurt you then." Dean sighed deeply.

"This is not how it works; I can't stand here and watch you self-destruct; I can't stand here and watch you change into something you're not."

"How can you know what I am?"

"Because!" Pause. "Because I love you."

"You don't seem to love this new self-destructing me very much." Rory pointed with a hint of a spite.

"You're wrong." That's all he said in the way to the Gilmore's estate; Rory didn't say anything either.

The gates to the mansion were open, but the house was quiet and the lights out, rather odd, Rory thought. But once she stepped out of the car all thought of something resembling to rationality exited her head successfully because of the cold drift that hit her.

"Don't worry about the car, leave it here." She instructed Dean as she made her way to her new favorite sneaking path: the back lane to the pool house.

"That's it?" Something told her to keep on her tracks, but she, as a good drunk, ignored it.

"I don't know." And it wouldn't matter if she was with _him_.

"You have to know, Rory, this can't just go unresolved and pushed aside until the next time we see each other."

"Such low belief on my schedule."

"Because is the truth, and I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm proud of you because of that, but it also leaves me at the back of your life, and I don't want that." Rory pursed her lips together and felt the urge to get out of there and away from him.

"It's your call, I was the one cheating, remember?" Rory said with a smirk. Dean seemed to study her very intently and very precisely, then, as if someone had taken a blindfold off of his eyes, his face changed into a realization.

"You don't love me, you-you don't even want to be with me."

"That's-"

"Don't even." He walked away and just as he was reaching the gates Rory spoke up again.

"I'll get you Tristan's bank account number if you want." He flinched.

* * *

Rory Gilmore woke up to the sound of her grandmother's voice in the living room of the pool house, yelling at the poor maid yet again. Rory smelled her hair instantly and almost fainted at the realization that her whole room smelled of alcohol, it smelled of hangover and her being of cigarette. Maybe Emily wouldn't perceive it. Shit.

Rory stood up quickly to open the window and the curtains and was stroke with the fact that the light seemed to hurt her skin in a ridiculous yet true way. She had no headache, but Rory had the urgent need to go back to sleep and do nothing but drink lots of water and maybe take a long and detoxicating bath. She took her clothes away and placed her pajamas in a record time, then, spraying perfume all over her body and her room was just a spare of the moment idea and quite frankly. Very lame, indeed.

She went back to pretending to be asleep just as Emily was entering the room with the new maid trailing behind her like a lost longing puppy.

"Rory! Why would you use that much perfume? It's not lady-like." Relief, nothing but relief in her heart. She opened her eyes with a not at all faked difficulty in looking for her grandmother who was inside her closet on the apparent search for something.

"Grandma?"

"Yes, Sandra, we will have to buy something soothing for the occasion too, write that down. I don't see you writing that down."

"Grandma?" Rory repeated, with a higher and pitcher tone this once.

"Oh, Rory, you're awake." Now Emily was out the closet and almost as if she hadn't spotted the brunette beauty in the bed or hadn't acknowledged her before, she went out the room to the living and the clueless maid behind her again.

Rory frowned slightly, put her sleepers on and walked to the living herself, now just urgently needing some caffeine; she would take it in anyway it came, so that the urge would cease. But when she stepped out of the room, she saw Emily and the maid and what seemed like a spectacle of millions of fussy fabrics being displayed everywhere. Rory winced at all of the colors, being reminded to herself her current state of hangover.

"Grandma, what is all of this?" She pushed aside some of the clothes so she could make her way to the kitchen and to where, if lucky, a pot of coffee would be there, silently waiting for her.

"Your options, of course." Emily voiced from behind some hung dresses.

"Options? For what exactly?" Rory asked, with a hint of thrill at the end at having found some remains of the coffee from the day before.

"Your birthday party, my dear. You certainly remember when we discussed it?" Rory grimaced, the coffee did not taste that good anymore.

"Oh." Was all she could say, once she was on top of the situation again, and not thinking that much about the horrible coffee. Then, almost as an afterthought, there was her mother; and the headache brought her back down. She echoed a slight noise of pain, which was so low her grandmother didn't hear it.

"Yes, and I realized you didn't have anything appropriate for such situation, so, I brought all of this, everything is so beautiful, you will like something, I assure you." Rory nodded to herself.

Not that she doubted her grandmother, or her words, or anything really, but, as Rory walked and eyed and felt the dresses and outfits, she felt herself want to throw up again. All the colors were so bright and all the fabrics so outrageously puffy or flat, nothing here would do. But why did she care anyway? This was just something to please her grandparents a little bit more and have them off her back.

Maybe the poison from the bright side of Hartford was starting to infect her wound.

* * *

Monday morning, and a one Rory Gilmore walking, no, erase that, trumping down into Chilton Academy. The day was starting to look like one of those really sad and depressing movies, where every time something unfortunate happened it would start raining, and the wind would go freely up and about everybody's lives.

Though Rory was early to school, as every day since she lived in Hartford, she didn't want to ruin her hair or make up, so she ran to dried off quarters, as any other superficial and vane girl in the private school. But in spite her every effort to not mess up her image, rain had other plans. So, she walked to the nearest bathroom and set herself and her stuff on the lavatory.

Just as she was opening her bag, she was startled by its contents, very unusual, she thought. There was the book or two and the rare notebook inside, but what took over her school bag was makeup, products for her well-managed hair, perfumes, all kinds of lipsticks or lip-gloss, and a change of clothes, for what? She didn't even know. And she didn't care.

She began to fix her hair, which had been straightened in the morning and now, well, a bun would have to do then. Just as she was finishing with her hair, two other girls walked in with the muffled sound of the last warning bell for first period class. Rory eyed them through the mirror and smiled.

"Hey girls." The other two seemed to be amazed to see her there and then, as a second nature, they hid it and smiled back to the brunette.

"Rory, such a pleasing surprise to see you here instead of running to whatever classroom." Louise greeted dismissively.

"Well, times change." She replied.

"They do indeed, I see you're here to perform the morning ritual of the rainy days, we are too."

"My hair has been assassinated by the stupid wind." Said Madeline, now joining Rory in the lavatories and taking a brush off her pink bag.

"And the rain made my mascara run off." Louise said as she did the same as her best friend.

"I had straightened my hair." Voiced Rory at last and the two other girls turned to see her with a sympathetic face.

"Darling, I'm so sorry. It must have been awful."

"It was." Rory agreed. "But I think it's all fixed now." The two other girls just nodded absently and the three of them proceeded to fix their makeup in absolute silence. Then, Louise spoke up again.

"I heard Brendan wanted to kiss you at the party, Maddie."

"Did he really? Because I saw his face absolutely glued to Sheridan's all night long." Madeline added with a slight scowl. "Shameless, they went all the way in my house too."

"No way!" Louise stopped her hand from applying mascara and her eyes went wide.

"Yes, I had to kick them out the next morning." Maddie snorted. "Sheridan absolutely isn't a cup C, I found her extra breast under the bed." Louise made a disgusted face. "And then, in the afternoon Tristan came in and paid the rest of the broken base."

"Huh, not that delinquent then." Louise said with a contemplative frown.

"It was sweet." Said Maddie. "He's always sweet to me."

"No! No more crushing over him."

"I am not." Said Madeline. "He's like my brother and you know it." Rory couldn't keep her surprise over the confirmation of what Tristan had said to her at the party. Madeline was saying that they were very close, but she never saw them together. At all.

"A really hot brother, poor you." Madeline just rolled her eyes and shook her head absently while keeping up the work with her brush. "And anyway, did he tell you how he managed to break the antique?"

"No, I just assumed he was smashing some girl against the wall and it fell. You know, they were saying he was putting quite the show with her in the balcony, everyone saw." Said Madeline with a smirk. Louise raised her eyebrows in curiosity.

"Do you know who it was?" Madeline shook her head no as a response.

"It was me." Rory spoke up and shrugged off the bemused looks in the other two girls.

* * *

Long hours after she had told Madeline and Louise all about the party last Saturday, Rory was walking tiresome by the hallways; she wasn't surprised by the looks and the murmurs of her in class or the cafeteria or everywhere really; she knew the rumors spread fast around the school and also that between every ear and mouth the words and the versions twisted and by now some people were under the impression that Tristan Dugray had successfully taken his Mary to bed that night. But nobody really cared about Rory's boyfriend, not even Madeline and Louise had seemed very aware of it, even though they knew Dean.

"I really hope you two used a condom. We don't want any more screw ups around here." Rory snorted as she heard Paris' words. "It's not a joke." The blonde raised her volume.

"Don't worry, Paris, we were absolutely safe."

"So, it's true."

"It's not." Rory said, her plan didn't include being the new school slut.

"But you just said-"

"Believe what you want, Paris, but I really thought you knew me." Rory almost gagged at her.

"I just want the truth, it's all." Rory didn't say anything as they kept on walking and even though all the conversations surrounding them were filling up the silence, she could still feel it. And she stopped walking. "And I know you didn't mean what you said to me, you were just drunk, I guess."

"Yeah, well, I won't ever get drunk again, it seems that whenever I do, I tend to do a lot of stupid things. And, I am sorry, Paris, for what I said and how I treated you. Truth is, I admire you for having such a strong demeanor and I truly envy the way everyone respects you." She paused and sighed and then looked at Paris again with a hopeful and small smile. "And I cherish our friendship too much to let something like a drunken spectacle ruin it."

"Really?" Asked a sheepish Paris. The fish was yet again in the net.

"Really." Assured Rory with a smile and Paris mirrored it, then, performing the act nobody could ever expect, not even well rehearsed Rory Gilmore. She hugged Rory. And Rory, naturally, had been too startled to return the hug, instead she stood there, wide eyed and tensed to the affective gesture.

"Did something really happen between you and Tristan?" Paris questioned softy as she stepped back. Rory looked at her hesitantly. "You can tell me; I swear I won't get mad."

"Something ought to have happened."

"But it didn't?" She pushed.

"It absolutely didn't." Rory replied very securely. "And I was with Dean at the party, remember? More than a few people seem to have forgotten that."

"Well, you don't have the most memorable of boyfriends." Paris muttered slightly and Rory arched her eyebrows pointedly. "Right, sorry, just voicing out thoughts. I'm taking therapy for that too." The blonde began walking again and the brunette followed right suit.

"For what else are you taking therapy?" Rory asked, genuinely curious and waiting for usable information. Paris was blushed all of a sudden. Ah, so she voiced secrets too.

"Oh, you know, nothing important, just anger management and all...don't tell anyone, Rory, please." Rory raised both brows in a questioning manner. "I just...they're going to look at me like I'm a freak. You saw how everyone acted around me when my parents' ugly divorce went public and-and I don't think I can manage another public bomb."

"You don't need to explain, Paris, I totally got you, and don't worry, I heard nothing, I know nothing." Rory said as she smiled reassuringly at the expectant girl at her side.

"Thank you."

"It's nothing, really."

"Maybe, but still."

"Yeah, you don't mention it. Now, is your crush on Tristan really strong? You seem to care about him a lot." Rory implied, not subtle, sure, but she was with Paris Gellar of all people.

"Well, we were childhood friends, and then there was that one date, but I think I just see him as an old acquaintance now." Paris said, nonchalantly.

"Do you really?"

"Yes, Gilmore! Why the inquire?" Paris said, exasperated as her easily irked temper dictated.

"Oh, well, I did nothing bad with him on Saturday, but we had a good chat-"

"A good chat? You and him? Are you sure it wasn't a yelling match and you're just imagining things?"

"And he told me certain things that might be of your interest." Rory went on and ignored Paris' input to the conversation.

"Like what?" Paris asked, clenching her book bag stripe tighter on her fist.

"Like he has been wanting to ask you on a second date." Rory answered with an easy smirk on her face, a sort of complicity in her eyes. "But he doesn't know what your feelings toward him are since, well, last year, so he decided to ask me about it."

"And what did you say?"

"That I'd ask you." Rory shrugged.

"Damn it, Gilmore!" Paris swore.

"What? What should've I told him? I didn't know a thing."

"But it's Tristan! And you knew how I feel about him."

"I think I heard a present tense there?"

"You think right," Paris muttered as her brows furrowed together.

"It doesn't matter what I told him anyway, you two need to talk to each other or else I'll be stuck as a messenger pigeon all high school long. It'll be like elementary school all over again."

"I can't do it, Rory. He makes me nervous and he makes me...girly, I can't possibly deal with that." She paused as she took a big intake of air. Paris seemed to be getting more nervous than expected. "And he's the school criminal, I can't date a criminal! I'm going to Harvard!" Rory rolled her eyes.

"We all know that, but, however, you can allow yourself some fun, once in a while, criminal or not involved, you should let loose sometimes." Rory advised.

"That's not-"

"I'll tell you what, we will go talk with him together, so you don't feel as pressured and I'll have the getaway plan ready to be executed whenever you feel like it."

"No! That would make me look so lame." She excused.

"Paris, you have to talk with him, you both want this, and you won't be sorry, you'll see." Rory promised.

"Were you serious when you said you'd go with me?" Rory nodded her response. "But, what if, I mean, you look so much better than me today..."

"I will not stand a threat, I'll even flirt with Bowman to set my grounds clear."

"Okay, but you don't have to go that far."

* * *

"That was a good party, wasn't it, Mary?" Tristan voiced as he approached her with that unbelievable swagger and leaning on the locker next to hers.

"How did you find my locker?" She asked, ignoring his question completely.

"Oh, you know, I have my ways."

"Meaning you just followed me here."

"Don't put yourself that high up there, Gilmore, even I have better things to do than follow the oldest conquest in the book." Rory stopped on what she was doing and turned around to look at him, he was sporting that everlasting smirk and bedroom eyes.

"Oldest conquest in the book? Didn't know Saturday had been that long ago."

"You do qualify yourself as a conquest then." He pointed out.

"Why fight it? I did give in eventually." She said, shrugging it off.

"Don't say it like that, it takes all the fun away." He protested, but with a little amused tone.

"I heard you already paid the base." She changed the subject.

"I said I would."

"You didn't have to, Dean was the one to-"

"Rory, please, you and I both know that your bag-boy was going to pay that base in ten years tops, and Maddie needed a good replacement for the thing by Thursday or else she'd be sent to a good only-girls boarding school in France, a.k.a, her own personal hell so..."

"Such a good friend you are." Rory said, surprising even herself when she let her hand go through his cheek in a soft caress. Tristan smirked and chuckled softly.

"I do what I can."

"It was a good party." Rory said, answering his initial question. "And I didn't even bring a book." He chuckled again, this time more freely, considering he didn't have her distracting touch on him anymore.

"That was odd, I have to say."

"It's part of the changing."

"Right."

"And," she began again as she closed her locker shut but didn't make any move to walk away. "I have a proposition for you." She didn't care for the choice of words. He stepped closer at this.

"Do tell."

"I want to live like you, Tristan." His face faltered at that, but Rory went on. "I had a really good time on Saturday, and I want you to teach me more of it."

"Of smoking? Well, there's really not much to teach."

"No, not just that, to show me how it is to be the trouble kid in Hartford." She paused to look at him now. "It looks fun from where I stand."

"You must be standing on a cliff then. But I do like the title, makes me sound fearless, doesn't it?" Rory smiled softly.

"It does." She agreed. "I just want a taste of something different, I've been lacking that kind of thrill my whole life, I don't want to miss on it any longer." Tristan scratched his neck, smiled and shook his head.

"You know, Rory, I don't really need much convincing, for what it's worth I'm all in on turning you to the dark side, but I don't work alone."

"Duncan and Bowman?" He nodded. "I need to convince them too? But I don't know them."

"I know you don't, but we do some things that may not be looked upon as legal. And as you can imagine, they like to be secret about it." He said, with a hint of mock. Rory frowned as if in deep thought and bit her lip. "But you do that face to them and you're absolutely in." He whispered huskily to her ear, Rory felt her knees tremble.

"Oh, no, that's just for you."

"Clearly." He replied quickly. "I really like the adjustment you did to your uniform, makes you stand out." He said as he gave her a once over that was extremely attached to her legs.

"My eyes are still up here, Tristan." He didn't look up.

"I know, I just thought I saw a-" Smack. "Hey! What was that for?"

"Stop staring at my legs, it's not funny. Makes me feel uncomfortable."

"So, you don't like it when I see them, but you like it when I touch them. Noted." Smack. "I was just pointing out facts."

"You're impossible." She said but couldn't help the smile directed at him. He scrolled a hand through his blonde hair and then placed said hand on the small of Rory's back, guiding her through a small crowd.

"See, Mary, if you're really just in this for the fun, you might as well not even start. No, no, who am I kidding? The fun it's all that's in it."

"Promising."

"Isn't it?" He sighed deeply. "You're about to meet the biggest assholes in the world, whom I call friends, are you sure of this?"

"Hey, I want assholes for friends too." She said, teasing a little.

"Baby steps, Mare, baby steps."

* * *

 **Please review if you liked this, or if you did not. Also follow and fav. Hope you enjoyed.**


	7. Chapter 7

**So, here is another one. Hope you enjoy, I really love writing this story. And yes, I am aware it is kind of twisted. But it is fanfiction.**

* * *

"Uh, first meeting in a cafeteria, scary." She teased with a spooky voice.

"We try." Tristan said, now as they walked in, his hand had moved from the small of her back to enroll her waist.

"What are you, my shield?" She asked with a frown as she looked at his hand.

"If you don't like it, you say so." She smirked at him.

"No, I'm fine." Rory replied as they walked in the cafeteria. "How about we give them a little show? Their lives must be getting really dull by now." She said as she looked at the entrance of the cafeteria and a good part of the chiltonites coming and going, some looking at Rory and Tristan oddly.

"A show?" Tristan questioned with a raised eyebrow at her.

"Yes, like this." She said, her hand coming to clasp with the one he had around her waist and sweetly putting herself against him closer.

"Ah, like this." He leaned down to her ear and whispered lowly. "Don't play with me, Rory. I know what you're doing, and you have to know that we play with fire and if I want to have you, I'll have you." He cleared his throat. "But not just now." He unclasped his hand from hers and let he waist go freely as he walked ahead, fully secure that she would be following to the table at the very center of the cafeteria.

"I am not playing with you." She said as she caught up with him in a loud whisper. She felt like all color had been drained from her face. She wasn't lying to him, was she? Rory felt now that everything she could possibly tell him, he would account for as a lie; and she couldn't have that.

"You'll prove that later then, and as for Duncan and Bowman, I want them out of your little psychological trial too." Rory frowned at him.

"What are you talking about?" He stopped on his tracks and gave her a skeptical look. Rory almost running into his body.

"I'll tell you later." He said as he pulled out a chair and sat down, signaling to the one on his side for her to take; her frown deepened but she obliged. Then, Rory looked up, and watched the two guys from the party sitting opposite them; but always the amazers, reading a book.

"So?" He asked to the guys. The one on the right had light brown hair and his eyes were deep green; he had light freckles on his nose and his cheeks; she recognized that one as Bowman, the one who actually tried to get her to bed at the party, the one with the rum. The one on the left was completely turned to his book; he had black hair and one of the fairer skins she had ever seen, they guy looked up to acknowledge Tristan and his brown eyes seemed to just swap by Rory without the least importance. So, this was Duncan.

"Found nothing in this." Said Duncan, his entire attention to Tristan and then he went back to his book, gave it a final inspection and closed it, tossing it aside. "Who's this?" He asked, not even looking at Rory.

"Remember black stocking?" Tristan said. The guy frowned slightly in thought and then his face lighted with a smile.

"Yes! Oh, God! She also turned Bowman down!" The guy announced cheerfully and pushed the guy still engrossed in his book with his shoulder.

"You never told me anything about this." Said Tristan with a bicker in his voice.

"Well, you know, a girl turns down Bowman every day." He smirked at Rory. "Same old, same old." Tristan laughed.

"Would you asses shut up? I'm trying to concentrate, I think I have something." Bowman muttered, irked. Rory couldn't really blame him.

"Nice to hear, and I have something too." Announced Tristan as he signaled at Rory with his hand.

"Someone, jerk." Rory muttered, Tristan smirked.

"Right, sorry, here I give you the oldest conquest in the book." Bowman looked up at that and examined Rory, as Duncan did the same, but this time he seemed truly interested.

"Huh, I'm Duncan Marin, nice to finally meet you, Mary." The guy extended his hand, Rory eyed him carefully because of the use of the nick name, but she shook it anyway.

"Shit...I didn't know." Bowman said to Tristan. The blonde guy shrugged.

"How could you have? But, gentlemen, this one right here isn't sweet old' Mary anymore, no, she has asked me very nicely to introduce her to the world of...our world." He paused. "Thus, she will be known as Rory Gilmore from now on, or would you like a pseudonym? Bowman once asked us to call him Big B." Duncan snorted as a try to keep his laughing in but failed miserably after a minute.

"Shut up, I was twelve." The guy defended.

"No, I think my real name will do, thank you."

"A girl with us, Tristan? Do you really think that's...adequate?" Bowman intervened again

"Look, guys, I don't want in your porn movie nights or your outings to strip clubs, really, I just want to have real fun and you seem to know how." Rory stated.

"Is that really all you think we do, Princess?" Asked Duncan with a fairly amused face. "Besides, we don't need those things you just mentioned, well, I know I don't." He spoke smugly. "But, anyway, we tend to...break the law very often. And I know your family isn't used to being called at three am because their golden daughter needs her bail paid."

"He makes a good point there, Ror." Tristan seconded as he took some of the chips from his friends' food trays. Rory wanted to smile at the use of that unconscious nickname. It felt almost friendly.

"And, aren't you in the Franklin or something? Is this just research?" Bowman accused subtly.

"I am not in the school newspaper,"

"You hang around Paris Gellar a lot, don't you?" Came Bowman's voice again.

"I'll stop if that's going to make you feel safer, reckless boy." Rory almost bit.

"You know, I like her, I vote in. I couldn't care less about Paris Gellar, or the newspaper, what do they matter anyway?" Said Duncan. "And our little group could use a girly touch." Tristan looked amusingly at his friend.

"I say probation, what if she can't keep up?" Bowman again. Rory glared at him.

"Fine, probation then, just to give Bowman satisfaction." Tristan said. "And what did you find, Big B?" The brown-haired guy glared at him and groaned.

"They want us to meet with them Saturday, in a town just outside of Hartford. I swear these geeks are just gold mines." Rory looked at Tristan with curiosity. "And Rory Gilmore comes with us too."

"Come with you to what?" She asked.

"It's your probation, no questions asked, reckless girl." Bowman said challengingly.

"Maybe, don't you think it's a little too much?" Duncan said. "I mean we could start her off easy."

"This doesn't work like that." Said Tristan, now returning the glance to Rory, who looked fairly confused and heated.

"Well, it's just an errand anyway, we could hit something better later in the night."

"We could." Agreed Tristan. "Fine, you're coming with us, Ror."

* * *

"I liked Duncan." Rory was telling Tristan later that day as she walked up to him in the parking lot. End of school day, that seemed barely what it was.

"Wait until he gets drunk, he loses all of his grace. Not so gentlemanly anymore."

"And Bowman?"

"No, he just gets to be a justified jackass while he drinks."

"Huh, nice friends."

"Aren't they." He got to the door of his car and eyed Rory carefully. "Want a lift?"

"I thought you'd never ask." She walked to the other side of the car and climbed in. Tristan sighed and turned on the engine. "You said earlier, that, well, implied is more like it, that I had this problem going on with some trials and games; I just wanted to set this clear because I don't like to be seen as a puppet master or anything like that, even close to that, I wouldn't ever dare to try this on anyone, less of all you, seriously-" His lips on hers; his hand on the back of her head drawing her closer to him; his breathing hitching her own and the feel of everything making her heartbeat raise. But just as easily, he moved back to his seat. "Wha-"

"Dear lord, now I know how to stop rambling Rory if she ever comes back." Rory blinked a couple of times and her face turned to look up front; he was moving past the parking space his car had previously occupied and now they were going past the teenagers and teachers on the hurry to get out of school too.

"I actually hadn't rambled in a long time." Her mind went there again and suddenly Rory was wincing at the pain and flinching with her whole body. Tristan stopped the car at the exit of the parking lot and his hand moved to her forehead instantly.

"Hey, are you okay? I think I've seen that happen to you twice, you should really see a doctor about that." He advised, his hand still on her forehead as if it had some magical healing power. She opened her eyes and looked at him briefly. Concern, not him too.

"It's just migraines, I've had them since I was little, nothing to worry about." He settled back down and kept on with the driving.

"Okay, fine." A long pause.

"As much as that method for shutting me up proves to be effective, I don't want a repeat." Rory said, once the pain was fully out of her head.

"Are you sure? You didn't complain before." He smirked.

"I was having a terrible headache."

"Yeah, okay, you can tell yourself that all you want, Mary, but I know how you really feel." She smiled as she shook her head.

"I thought you said I was no longer a 'Mary' material."

"I did not say that. I merely suggested you may not be a Mary anymore, but it just stuck, sorry."

"Don't be." She smiled at him as he glanced at her briefly. "And about the...playing, I am not doing that to you."

"Good to know, but you are doing that to Paris and maybe Dean, I noticed you lied to him a lot at the party and I just don't want to be a part of it, if you'll allow me. And I'm not judging." Rory sighed softly.

"So, you do know his name." He gave her a pointed look, but she decided to ignore it as she saw her grandparents' street come into view. "I told him I would give him your bank account number, for that small fortune he owes you." Tristan chuckled as he pulled over in front of the Gilmore estate.

"On a normal basis I would tell you that he owes me nothing, heck, I would even send him my greetings, but seeing as this day is anything but normal, why don't you let him call the big house? I know it's in the guide." Rory rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"You're mean." She accused.

"To the guy whose girlfriend I just kissed, absolutely."

"That doesn't make any sense, Tristan." Rory said as she stepped out of the black car.

"It doesn't have to." He grinned. "Probation day is going to be a blast. You'll see." He promised as he drove off the street.

* * *

"Hey, Rory!" The brunette girl stopped on her tracks and turned around to watch the black-haired boy approach her with a smile, and no surprise there, no backpack, no books, not even a pencil.

"Duncan, hey." She greeted, the guy finally caught up and the two walked together. "What's going on?"

"Well, see, yesterday I told you I was all in in letting you hang out with us and I'm still cool about it, I just had to ask one more thing." Rory frowned slightly.

"Okay, ask."

"Tristan isn't making you do this, right?" He paused for reaction but when he got none he went on. "I know you know he has a thing for a certain kind of girl but, I just didn't want an innocent...Mary, doing this just to get Tristan."

"Why would I do that?"

"Some have done worse, trust me." Rory bit her bottom lip.

"No, I don't even want to get Tristan, I was telling you the truth yesterday too, and he isn't making me do anything, I actually had to beg a little for him to agree." Duncan nodded firmly. "But I appreciate your concern anyway, thanks."

"It's okay." He smirked slightly. "And, if you don't want Tristan then, we-"

"Don't say it, you're in the right path, I don't want to see you lose your track." He chuckled and smiled at her.

"Fair enough. I truly like you, Rory Gilmore." He shot her one last amused look and backed away to where he had come from earlier.

These boys, Rory thought, were truly something. She had met Bowman and couldn't believe he got along with Duncan; she knew Tristan better than she knew the other two guys and could honestly say the three were very different on their own, but somehow when together it was like you couldn't see those differences, at all.

"Why's Duncan talking to you?"

"Would you really like to know?" Rory answered to the voice that seemed to be always there and always demanding.

"No, actually...I heard you shared a meal with those two assholes and Tristan. What business do you have with them?" Rory chuckled slightly at Paris.

"So, Tristan doesn't count as an asshole now?" Paris glared.

"Fine, you don't want to tell me, then don't." She snapped.

"It did have something to do with you if you were wondering, by casualty."

"Did it?" Paris asked, the harshness in her face now almost gone.

"Yeah, Tristan was eager to find out what you had said; and I didn't tell him everything."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because," she paused, "guys like Tristan like to chase, he will lose interest if he knows he doesn't have to chase any more. So, it's better if you keep him in the wings."

"We're not playing chicken here, Gilmore." Rory raised a brow.

"Really? Because I haven't seen you talk to him, so much that he had to ask me of all people." Paris made a slight pout and sighed.

"Okay, I will talk to him, just not today. I'm not feeling particularly brave."

"Just relax, you already know what's going to happen." Rory advised.

"What is?"

"He's going to reciprocate, the wonders of having extra information and a friend like me." Rory praised herself.

* * *

"Hello?"

"What are you wearing?" Came a husky voice. Rory smiled.

"Nothing at the moment, really, why?"

"Huh, well, you better get something on, it's getting chilly outside." Tristan said, amused by the moment. "So, here I am, returning your calls so faithfully, what is so important that you had to interrupt my visit with the doctor?"

"The doctor? What is wrong with you?" She asked.

"Nothing, nothing at all some might say; but, my mother, however, thinks I am in some kind of depression because of my parents' divorce." He explained, Rory could hear him chewing something.

"You're at a shrink?" Rory couldn't keep the half snort in.

"You keep on with that I may not even consider helping you in whatever it is you're going to ask me."

"Am I that transparent?"

"Sometimes." He said, Rory frowned and felt like punching him, she cursed the phone for the very first time in her life.

"Ugh, I need a favor that involves Paris in it."

"Is this because of your human behavior study?" He finished chewing the something. "Because if it is, I'm out."

"What's your price?"

"Excuse me?"

"Come on, everyone has a price and you use that as well as you know it, I really need your help." She sighed. "And I know you don't really care about Paris and Dean, so, what's wrong with helping me?"

"You may have half the point there, Mare, but I don't see how this works."

"If you could maybe give her a chance?" He snorted.

"As fond of you as I might be, I'm not giving up my partial happiness just so that Paris can be happy. This is old, we have gone through it already, remember?" Rory grimaced.

"But you do have a price. Maybe it is worth some of your happiness?"

"You're right, I do. But it is too much, you won't know how to handle it."

"Just name it and we'll see." A big hesitating pause.

"Fine, you show up at my house tonight, dressed up, seven o' clock and we'll talk about Paris then."

"Deal."

* * *

 **Please review. Tell me what you think of the story so far :)**


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